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Here is another link to a Ph.D. sexologist, Danielle Harel, who did her dissertation on sexualizing labor and birth.

I wanted to make her info available, but I want to comment on what I consider to be oversimplifications to the concept of increased arousal and increased stimulation in several of her statements. This is getting into the minutia of sexual technique and any time you move down into the details, I consider them advanced sex concepts. As Betty often says to me, "Goddess is very often in the details."

I will quote from one section of what she says to the interviewer:

..."the more aroused you (a woman) become, the more stimulation you can handle.
Actually, you desire it!"

I agree that this happens in general, that as sex organs, female or male, become more engorged with blood, that they can take more vigorous stimulation over time than what you start with and that heavier stimulation will often be invited. The amounts vary from person to person. However, I don't agree that increase in arousal is always equal to increase in the amount of stimulation the genitals/body will be happy with. That's how this statement is written.

As I was taught by Betty, continuously adding more stimulation is not always needed or desired for a woman, or man, to reach orgasm or a higher level of arousal. Many times the steady drummer doing a consistent form of stimulation is exactly what's needed. There are moments where if you apply more stimulation, it will go into a feeling that is not erotic and is too much. Here's an excellent example: I had a threesome with two women once where I was in missionary with one of them, sliding back and forth inside her, while the other woman had a Hitachi Magic Wand with a G-spotter Magic Wand attachment on it. She was standing at the edge of the bed I was on with my partner, pushing the vibrating, curved toy inside me whenever I slid back out of the woman beneath me, then pulled it out slightly when I went back in my lover. I was sexing and getting sexed at the same time.

I remember my orgasm coming on and I kept my fuck-stroke the same and simply let things happen on their own. I groaned progressively louder and with that, the woman in my ass started pumping faster and harder. It hurt! I came anyway, but it made my orgasm not as good as it could have been had she simply been the steady drummer. I remember being amazed, thinking that men were the only people guilty of that. She said she got excited and her lust bade her pump me harder. Here's where sex can get complicated. There are times where you let go of all controls and rail away at your partner your penetrating or stroking and it works. Then there are times where that does the opposite. I was at the highest point of arousal and more stimulation was not necessary. I see that in my partners as well. By the way, you've -got- to try that sex scenario, gentlemen. The small g-spotter is the perfect size and shape and the vibe helps your ass relax and it strokes the prostate if you hold the Magic Wand in a handle-down position.

I also disagree with the assertion that you will always -know- you want more stimulation with higher arousal, i.e. "desire it!" Many times have I been with a partner and they were on a plateau in their orgasm climb and when I see and/or sense that accurately, I slightly increase stimulation and they will sometimes like that increase. It will move them closer to orgasm, make them come, or I'll increase further to find just the right amount. However, they dont always have a specific desire triggered for more every time. They dont know it until I go there. Then it also happens when she gasps for more stimulation too, whatever form that's currently taking. Both desiring and not being aware of the need for more can happen.

I quote further from the interview with Danielle:

"The greater the arousal, the more a woman
enjoys vigorous penetration and intense sexual stimulation."

Again, I would agree with this in general, but it's a statement that makes no exceptions. Human sexuality has mirad subtle variation and exceptions in addition to greater precepts. I'd reword this sentence to: The greater the arousal, the more a woman can -handle- vigorous penetration and intense sexual stimulation.

Just because a woman is able to receive faster and harder penetration, vaginal or otherwise, does not mean she will "enjoy" it. What often happens, via my experience and Betty's teachings, the woman will go into a holding pattern of sorts where she's not uncomfortable, or perhaps only mildly due to hard buffetting of her cervix or vaginal cul de sacs with the penis or dildo, but she's also not moving steadily toward an orgasm. The penetration can be godd! However, it is not so good that she will come from it. These are the moments we recognise where men often speed penetration up, let go of controls, and serve his pleasure to the fullest, driving toward his orgasm.

Her last statement I'll comment on:

"The desire for intense stimulation is nature’s way to make sure that a
woman will be a willing and excited participant in making babies."

I don't know what Dr. Harel is basing this statement on. It feels like she's attempting to create a different reality for women to consider beyond the labor/birth = pain model. I've heard evolutional theories that sexual pleasure is nature's way of assuring that sex will be pursued. The end result of which is baby making. Maybe she's trying to say:

Women can blend their desire for and acceptance of pleasurable intense stimulation with the intense sensations present during labor and birth.

As Betty's friend said who used the Magic Wand during labor, it was a similar exercise in pleasure and pain as she had practiced while acclimating herself to blending pleasure and pain during BDSM scenes in her past. As Dr. Harel and Betty both say/allude. "Define both as intense sensation. Not pleasure and pain." And, as is also said, "It hurts good." I can attest that there are very often limits to those psychological constructs for many of us as high levels of pain can drown out and overwhelm lower levels of pleasure, to the point where your spirit is shattered if you aren't acclimated to dealing with it, as well as big erotic pleasure erasing or muting light discomfort.

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