Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Hello Dr. Betty & Eric,

I read about your web site in the book "more hot sex" by Tracey Cox. I have a question I was hoping you could advise me on. I want to be able to last longer in bed and not cum so quick. So I did some research and started doing PC exercises. I've been doing them 3 times a week for a month now. I do 150 quick clenches and then try and hold them down for as long as I can. So far, I'm up to 70 seconds. I thought I'd be getting a harder erection and more lasting power but when I masturbate, I still feel the urge to ejaculate within a minute of...er..."fast and hard self loving"...;) I've tried getting close and then stopping but then when I start again after my hard-on subsides, I get closer even QUICKER than before....Can you give me any tips?

Thank you,

Levi Welton

Hi Levi, I'm Eric Amaranth. I'm Betty's protege of nine years, tantra student and teacher, and sex coach.

Fast and hard self loving on a physical level means more stimulation. More stimulation for men often means your body gets closer to orgasm accompanied by ejaculation. Try slowing down to half speed and keep with that all the way through to when you come. Then try half of that speed. A very common sex request from women is that men would slow down their vaginal penetration. There are places for speed and power during a fuck, but it's not the only place to be. When you go slower, it takes you longer to come, and the women you're with who desire slower speed value you more as a sex partner.

On doing your start stop technique, add fully-contracted PC muscle squeezes when you stop and imagine as you squeeze and release your semen going back up inside your body all the way into your balls (yes, men have pc muscles. you locate them by stopping the flow of urine). Then, start stimulation/intercourse again and keep your PC relaxed. Rinse and repeat. It takes practice, but eventually you'll be able to increase the time it takes to ejaculate whenever you stop and squeeze. There's much more to come
control, including using different emotional states to help speed up or slow down, but this is a great start for you.

EA.

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