Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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In our last episode, two friends engage in a game of epic proportions. Let’s see what happens to David as he hangs on by a thread (literally)! Will the gigantic Christina ever notice her tiny little friend? Find out!

me: This strand is annoying me. I twist it around my finger and, as I’m about to slide it back, I notice that something lands on my countertop. It almost looked like a speck of pepper, a flea. I bent down reaaaaally close to the counter, and inspect the tiny object.

David: Everything shifts as you bend down, and I naturally swing forward just a bit. I’m brought out now right in front of your left eye. I dangle, as I look at your large brown iris. It’s focusing on something far, far beyond me. Turning, I look. The remote. You’re looking at it. “Christina??? Christina! I need that remote! Can you hear me?!” I shout, my voice, if even audible, would most likely seem like it was coming from a mile away.

me: It’s not pepper or a flea. I notice the fiery red button and realize that somebody is in serious trouble. That’s when my eye briefly focuses on something… no.. someone glued to my lock of hair! But, I dare not keep my attentions on you for too long. Instead, I use my pinky and very gently slide the remote to the edge of the of the counter. It lands at the far side of my palm. I lift my hand slowly up to about the same level as you, pretending to inspect innocently right beyond your reach…

David: I watch as you raise your palm, the surface area alone seeming enormous and expansive to me at my newfound size. The remote looks so small as it rests just in the middle of your palm. Raised up now, I feel as though I could almost swing with some momentum and end up on your palm. I try to swing a little bit, but to no avail as I see you holding it, literally, just beyond a realistic reaching point for me. “Christina! Please!” I plead now.

me: I swing it just a little closer to my face… and I tip my palm. I keep tipping and tipping.. and the remote slowly falls off of my palm. Then I give my hands a deliberately gloating proverbial wash right near my face, almost so close that one of my hands nearly hits my nose… which still tickles. This time, I slowly lick my lips, making sure that my big wet tongue lubricates every surface area. Then, I pucker my lips together a blow a steady rush of air that causes the strand of hair to fly…

David: “Christina wait!! Noo!!” I shout as the breath, a combination of humid and cool air, wafts all around me and I feel my body weightless again like I’m free-falling. Except now, I’m unable to hang on. I shout the entire time now, afraid I’m going to fall to my death. As I meet my highest trajectory, I look down. Seeing what looks like an ocean of crystal clear water in a crystal clear glass, my eyes widen…as I begin to descend, free-falling now, beyond the rim, and into this arena within. I plunge into the cool waters, making sure I make some form of a straight line with my body so I don’t get knocked unconscious. I submerge hard, the bubbles all around me. Little do I realize it would seem barely like a single droplet to her. I swim quickly to the surface, gasping for air as I break the surface of the cool waters, looking up and out through the glass’s crystal clear walls.

me: I fix my hair, pulling the ringlets behind my ears. Then, I pucker my lips again and wipe away some wetness at the corners of my mouth, reminding you of something that happened at the bar. I turn around and realize now that my waffle is ready. I bend down and pull it out of the oven. I place it on the plate on my stovetop. Then, I open a jar of peanut butter nearby and slather a good layer onto my breakfast. Then some sticky sweet honey. I suck off of my fingers the excessive sugary stuff until it’s all been licked clean. Last thing’s the banana. I head over to the fridge, which is to the right of the counter top and right next to my glass of water. I stop and pick up my cool refreshing drink. I tip my head back first and slowly pull the glass to my lips. Then, I tip the glass forward…

David: Treading the water, I watch as you are clearly attending to preparing your breakfast. The sinking feeling that you have no idea of my existence overwhelms me. And then, I see you reaching your hand towards the glass. “Oh no…nooo no no no…”, I say, shaking my head as if not agreeing with the universe. I watch as your fingers slowly widen, wrapping around the glass, before everything shifts. You aren’t even looking into the glass, your head turned the other way as it’s raising. “Christina! Down here! It’s me!!!”, I shout, as I watch you tip your head back a bit before bringing the rim of the glass slowly up to rest against your plush lower lip. Adrenaline surges through me again. “Oh crap…”, I mutter as I begin to swim backwards, unable to turn away for the moment, trying to make distance between myself and the glass’s rim as the water line rises more and more as she tips the glass. The circular shape of hte water slowly takes on more of an ovular shape as it rises more and more, just about to meet her slowly parting, pursed lips.

me: I feel my throat undulate, ready to gulp down that first river of (not really) Polish Springs, The water flows into my mouth… but I don’t swallow yet. Instead, I block off my throat. At first I close my mouth… holding the water in like a balloon. Then, I tilt my head back. My lips spread. And I gargle, with bits of water escaping down my throat…

David: “Christina wait!!” I shout as I now turn over and swim my hardest. Almost a frantic panic, I hear an odd sound all around me as the water rushes towards your open mouth. Then there’s a shadow overhead. I look up as I swim, seeing your upper lip directly above me, then your upper row of teeth. At that point, I realize I’m going to be pulled in indefinitely. “Christinaaaa!” I shout, as I flow down a small waterfall over your upper lip and into the lagoon created in your mouth, before everything gets dim when you close your mouth and tip back. I lurch with the water, when your mouth opens again and I look up now, seeing the ceiling. Below me, enormous bubbles begin to spout up from your throat, as I realize you’re gargling. The water level is decreasingly slowly. Droplets sputter out, and I am knocked around before suddenly a bubble emerged directly below me. When it pops, I find myself launched like a droplet, only finding that I land directly on your upper lip.

me: I let out a bellowing burp. I place the glass back on the counter top, grab a banana, and bring it over to the stove top. I slice the soft mushy fruit and thick yellow discs fall on top of my waffle. I toss the peel over my shoulder and into the wastebasket. As I’m about to chuck the knife into the sink, I lick the peanut butter clean from its soft blade, sliding it in between my lips and letting the peanut butter just fall on my tongue. Then, I take a quick glance in the reflection of the knife and noticed a small familiar speck on my upper lip. And I slowly curl my mouth into a grin. I toss the knife in the sink. Then I grab the plate. Next comes the glass of water. I take a quick and deliberate sip before slowly pulling it away from my wet lips. Then I walked into the living room.

To Be Continued…