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Why Are Women So Miserable?

Tue, 10/06/2009 - 13:26
Submitted by Carlin Ross

New research, published in the U.S., and relating to a study of more than a million people, shows that women are more miserable than we've ever been. And we're actually getting more miserable.  The World Health Organisation reports that depression is the second
most debilitating disease for women; for men, it's the tenth most.

And this is the real point - men are not. According to the same research, men are getting happier and, moreover, are even happier as they get older.

No one knows exactly why women are more miserable.  I had to wade through a pile of BS explanations tracking this research.  Some said feminism let us down; others felt that it was about vitality - men can have babies in their 50s while we're all dried up and fizzled out *pukes*, and others reasoned it was the difficulites women face juggling work and family.

We know that women are almost earning dollar for dollar with their male counterparts; in fact, alpha girls coming out of college are earning more than young men entering the workforce and they're more likely to be promoted.  So it's not $ that's making us miserable.

Then we turn to family life.  Yes, women still do 80% of the household chores in addition to working outside the home.  Men may be happier because they have to do less.  There isn't as much pressure to be the breadwinner and they don't have to do dishes.  More time to watch tv, jerk off to porn, or play mafia wars.  However, you can hire someone to clean your house and you can always order take out. 

What about sex?  Where does that fit into the argument?  In our culture, every image/portrayal/storyline/sex scandal/porn movie theme etc is modeled after male sexual expression.  All we're left with is Sex and the City - the perennial drive to buy new designer wear to compete with other women for male attention.  Where's our Porkies?  Where's our American Pie?  I want to go to a film and laugh about women getting men to have sex with them at frat parties.  I want to laugh about a young woman rubbing cherry pie on her clit to orgasm.

I think we're miserable because we're not acknowledged as sexual beings.  We're objects that must be pursued and captured.  If you have sex for fun, you'll be labeled a "slut" and you'll never marry prince charming.  Just focus on school, launch your career, marry in time to drown out your biological clock, and then maybe you'll have time for some hot sex.  I can't tell you how many power women in their 40s and 50s walk through Betty's door for a private session BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T HAD AN ORGASM SINCE COLLEGE AND SOME NOT AT ALL.

That would make me fucking miserable too.  Betty and I are so hoping that women are ready to get in touch with their bodies and their orgasms.  We have to redefine how women orgasm.  Your clitoris is your primary sex organ NOT your g-spot.  I guess that would make us the pied pipers of female sexuality - just swap out the flute for the vibrator.

Sex, Politics & More Sex

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Great Post Carlin!!!

Wed, 10/07/2009 - 22:30
deera (not verified)

I agree that most women I encounter these days are depressed. I think that it does have a lot to do with family issues and lack of orgasms as you suggest. Most of the women I know are sick of the kids, the husband and being obligated to have non-orgasmic with said husbands. Women are fed so much shit about what we SHOULD be doing that many of us do not recognize what we WANT to do. When I stop to think about what I actually want, my list does not coincide with society's wishes. Here's the list: 1) lots of masturbation and orgasms, 2) job that I find stimulating and can pay the bills, 3) freedom to approach hot men that I can rub my body all over and then send back to their homes, 4) time alone to read, 5) no more kids.

Wow, maybe I want what a man wants!!!

women and happiness

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 14:29
clarone

Dear Carlin, thankyou for your wonderful friday series. I have benefitted from Betty's help from her books and my wife and i use both the vibrator and barbell in our love making.  On the subject of women and happiness, I think that a new phase has started after the years of working for equality-an ongoing effort.  But now women know that they should seek whatever they want, so once they do and achieve it, why so sad?  I think the next step is to acquire what men have been given all along- REGAL BEARING!  One more hurdle to jump over ,and the the first thing to go has to be the strangle- hold of typical looks. Movie stars are beautiful, but beauty is relative and a women who loves herself and her looks can revolutionize the whole field. Now it is time to turn to the past.  The African queens, Greek godesses and Asian  Godesses are combined in Modigliani's sculpture. One glance at this work and a women can emulate that sense of significance and importance. The bearing of a queen has been debunked over the last 300 years because of democracy and the reason is because the monarchy had to go. But what has replaced it? In the past,the society could look upon a queen and feel and share thier importance by reflection. Now, as good an idea as democracy is, we have lost the grandure of the monarchy. Our new goal should be to let all be princesses and queens. Sounds trite, but given all the accomplishments of the modern woman, look at what is missing....the look and feel of self adoration.  When I watch Betty, I see that her presence is indeed regal and she has cultivated happiness through self love and has asked each of us to do the same.  Yes, life is difficult with the combo of the kids, the job, the husband and all his demands. But regardless of how hard it is, defining for oneself the notion of grandure and beauty must be the first priority. Life is always impure and incomplete(heavy is the head that wears the crown). But once one believes that they are truly great and beautiful and significant., conditions dont change that-only enhance it.  Steve Bates

Women's success and sex

Mon, 10/12/2009 - 14:26
Marti (not verified)

Dear Carlin,
I loved your post "Why Are Women So Miserable?" A woman's sexual needs and desires should not be at odds with her career ambitions. It is not this way for men, where they often go hand in hand... or should I say more correctly, "dick in hand." I see no reason why a woman's pursuit for professional success should compromise her desire for a sexual lifestyle. If she truly is successful, I believe her professional success should actually provide more opportunity and license to enjoy sex; Even expand and enhance her sexual lifestyle. Just like successful men, she should have sexual partners lining up to be the next one to help get her off. Her pleasure should grow higher and higher, not dry up! Only when she feels that, the benefits of equality in her hightened orgasms, will she truly feel equal to a man. Sex and equality don’t just go dick in hand, after all.
You should be thanked for giving women license to explore, enjoy, and nurture their sexual needs.

Marti

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