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1 in 20 Women Never Had Sex Sober

Tue, 09/22/2009 - 13:52
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Even I was a bit shocked by these numbers.  Researchers who studied the link between sexual habits and alcohol
consumption among 3,000 women found 50% preferred sex under the
influence.  The reason: alcohol helped them lose their inhibitions.

This is what happens when you cut sex ed, cram abstinence until marriage down everyone's throats, perpetuate the slut stigma, and try to control human sexuality by shaming women.  We still have sex but we can't take responsibility for our decisions so we have a few drinks to absent ourselves.  Talk about a compromising situation.  You don't remember how much fun it was and you're less likely to be in the moment - less likely to communicate what you want and insist on protection.

Here's some other alarming facts:

The study also found the average woman has slept with eight men, but was drunk with at least five of them.  And on two of these occasions they can't even remember the man's name the following morning.

Nine out of ten women would never date without drinking, and 73% reckoned alcohol gave them confidence they needed for the evening.

More than half of women polled claimed drinking with a prospective partner was 'part of the dating process' so they were bound to be a bit drunk when they had sex.

And 14% of women in a relationship said they couldn't face sleeping with their partner unless they had a couple of glasses of wine beforehand.

When Betty was having group sex back in the 70s, they never served alcohol at the parties.  They served coffee.  Sex is better sober.  You'd don't need alcohol when you have orgasms.  If only we could acknowledge female sexuality for the power that it holds and encourage our young women to be in their bodies and in the moment.

Sex, Politics & More Sex

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I would like to say that I

Christina Cicchelli's picture
Tue, 09/22/2009 - 15:35
Christina Cicchelli

I would like to say that I do not like the implications of this study. Does the survey define drunk as being far beyond the limitations of immobility or consciousness? How is drunk defined? Can a woman not remember the name of her mate because she was drunk, or because she just couldn't remember (which is also a legitimate reason)? Is alcohol present in every single sexual activity that a woman confesses to? And what about men? How is a man's drinking habits any different than a woman? To me, all this survey has proved (like MANY surveys performed on a specific demographic of women) is that by throwing "shocking" numbers in with assumptions (not hard facts), you can easily make a woman look any way that you want her to. (By the way, FemFresh - who conducted the study - is a company that sells hygienic products to women... wouldn't it be convenient to produce a study that will make women feel insecure about themselves? I also read one review about FemFresh's effectiveness of using women's insecurities to gain attention.) </p>


Many women suffer from confidence. That is totally true. And it's reasonable to believe that a woman may have to depend on alcohol for almost every sexual situation she encounters. But, this particular study doesn't make clear the difference between those who use it to calm their anxieties and let down their defenses... let their "hair down" (which could be any of us - men and women) and those who honestly see it as a dependent for dealing with self-esteem issues, both in and outside the sexual arena.</p>  

We should also acknowledge that for many Americans, and Brits as well, the bar scene is where people tend to flock to hang out with friends and possibly get lucky. And, normally, hanging out with friends means you'll probably ending up drinking more than you should... which isn't too great if you want to get lucky. But, drinking itself is an average pasttime for everyone. It's a social lubricant. Plus, quite honestly in my experience, no one wants to have sex with someone they don't know. Sexual encounters are already awkward enough for everyone (we're also a post-AIDS generation so sex always comes with some sort of consequence), alcohol makes it easier. There is the stigma and our slighted sexual upbringings, but I think for many women, it's not about being absent. For many women, it's about being there and not worrying about the consequences... just to have fun.</p>  


If they were to ask me why I drink, the answer is simply because i can.

 

 

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures" - Oscar Wilde

www.christinacicchelli.com

This isnt very shocking to

Wed, 09/23/2009 - 19:41
Anonymous User (not verified)

This isnt very shocking to me. I like to have a drink before sex - particularly with a new partner. A glass of red will relax me. So I say, if there's something you can do (within reason of course) to make yourself feel that little more confident, do it. Its not harming anyone.

Not Always a Negative

Fri, 09/25/2009 - 03:40
The Nerd (not verified)

Of course, I believe a woman should always be sober enough to be in control of her own sexual experience.

Having said that, I find that being intoxicated does not diminish my sexual pleasure at all, contrary to the advertising. It must be my personal chemistry, but drinking actually serves to heighten my orgasm experience. The heady warmth that comes from drinking combines with the pleasurable glow of orgasm and creates an almost angelic feeling (and this coming from an atheist!). Plus, my literary creativity is unleashed, and I can talk dirty with inspiration.

Again, I would not recommend this for a first-time encounter. But it is delightful when sharing sex with a trusted partner.

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