Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

Below is a fan email we received from a medical student who is sexually liberated. She will be such a credit to her profession:

Dear Betty & Carlin,

Today my life has changed. Today I discovered your website and I have viewed several of your videos discussing female sexuality and pleasure. I have LONG made many of the same arguments and comments that you discuss in your videos and it has been the absolute most exhilarating thing to see that I am not alone!

I am a medical student in my fourth year of med school. While I consider myself a feminist I have never formally participated in feminist organizations or sex-positive clubs. Frankly, the women that I know in these types of groups always struck me as, well, unsexy. They seemed like over-the-top belligerent feminists with thin skins and strange customs. My feminist classmates would make posters about abortion rights, show videos by Eve Ensler and hold discussions on womens health. None of these things held any attraction for me, despite my strong beliefs in the area of female sexuality.

I identify socially with my male colleagues. I like porn. I masturbate, often and without guilt. I think monogamy is overrated and silly. I enjoy sex in all its iterations, and while I prefer men, I am sexually attracted to women as well. To the lesbians in our school this was wishy-washy, and to the heteros it was an attention-seeking maneuver. It seemed I couldnt win. Moreover, I was (and still am) viewed as a slut by many of my so-called guy friends. I was the recipient of many hurtful comments from friends that saw my promiscuity as a negative thing in a young professional woman. Granted these comments were always made in jest, but that didnt change the fundamental point. Girls arent supposed to enjoy frequent fucking by hot guys. Its considered unladylike.

This last bit in particular pisses me off. While I am now in a committed and thus far, monogamous relationship,up until this relationship I was happy pursuing sexual, non-emotional relationships. I have had several fuck-buddies that I got along splendidly with. My colleagues viewed this as abnormal. Some thought it was a cry for help and a sign of low self-esteem. I on the other hand was thrilled to have a satisfying sex life with people I was compatible with but not necessarily attracted to emotionally. Was this so wrong?

Your website has reassured me that no, it was and is just fine. Pleasuring myself taught me that I enjoy sex. It taught me to enjoy partner-sex by being able to show my lovers what I like and how to get me off. It also made me realize that sex is not terribly different from any other enjoyable couples activity ie. Dancing, tennis, belayed rock-climbing. You have a partner that you do this activity with and while being emotionally attached to that partner may enhance the experience, it is by no means required to enjoy the act.

As an emerging physician (as our dean of education calls us) I look forward to continuing the advancement of female sexuality and pleasure in regular society. I am sick and tired of the double standards regarding what we are supposed to like, how we are supposed to act and who we are allowed to fuck. Your website serves as a beacon to women young and old allowing us to enjoy ourselves without shame and to take pride in what nature has given us. I look forward to learning more from you both and hopefully one day to advance the field via my own medical practice and continuing to disseminate sexual pleasure as tool for female empowerment.

A million times thank you.

Respectfully,
MR