Carlin Ross's blog

Sexualizing the Mother Child Bond

Fri, 12/16/2016 - 10:29
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Both of these images were posted online and got a slew of negative comments.  Apparently, breastfeeding your toddler as you prepare for your second birth and kissing her 4 year old son on the lips (thank you, Hillary Duff, for posting this picture) is offensive and sexually inappropriate. 

The bond between mothers and their children is so strong and so intimate.  When I breastfeed Grayson, we giggle, recite our new words, trace each other's ears and belly buttons.  In other words, we share tenderness and touch.  And, for the record, I kiss my son on the lips. 

We Must Accept Our Sexual Selves

Thu, 12/15/2016 - 10:13
Submitted by Carlin Ross

There are days when I feel like I'm getting pulled down into the quicksands of misogyny especially with our new President elect. America wanted to see Donald "grab [Hillary] by the pussy" during those debates. Stalking...lurking behind her was a reminder that women who try to forge their way in a man's world jeopardize their safety. Hillary lost because of pure, unadulterated hate.

When I watched this clip of Madonna's acceptance speech, every word she said rang true for me. It's that insidious, institutionalized hatred of women that we deny but remains. Just look at the faces of the women in the audience. They know exactly what she's talking about. Thank you, Madonna, for having the clit to call out our culture and how we denigrate women:

What We Can Learn from Pompeii's Erotic Art

Thu, 12/08/2016 - 08:11
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I was going through my news feed when I found pixelated images of Pompeii's erotic art that had been preserved thanks to the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.  Yes, they pixelated the areas where genital contact was portrayed.  Oh, America!

As I clicked through the images, I was struck by how inclusive they were in their depictions of sex acts.  There was cunniligus and a very progressive threesome.  It's always two women and one man.  There was the threesome I'd always envisioned: a man vaginally penetrating a woman while he was being anally penetrated by a man.  That makes orgasmic sense.

Perfect Solution to Constant Requests for Nude Pics

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 09:04
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Any woman under the age of 80 who's on social media knows how annoying men are with their constant requests for free porn - nude pics of you sent for no reason other than they have a dick.

This young woman's response is brilliant.  If I teach Grayson anything, it will be to respect women's bodies and know never to bully them for nude pics.

Every Individual is Entitled to Pleasure

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 08:28
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Below is an email from a beautiful woman who took our last workshop *tingles*

I am still processing Bodysex. Still shaking my head in disbelief, marveling at all the beauty and courage within that circle. The depth of what I took away from the experience still confounds me. This started out as a thank you note to Betty and Carlin but then I thought, why not thank everyone? After all, it was the sense of sisterhood that made this so special.

Negative misconceptions born from the cultural double standard had darkened my perception of sex and my body. Bodysex taught me something so simple and yet absolutely fundamental; every individual is entitled to pleasure…and I’m convinced there was no better way to learn it.

I Needed Bodysex

Tue, 11/15/2016 - 09:46
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Heading into this past weekend's workshop, I felt like this would be the last group of Betty's career, the last group we ran together. After a West Coast book tour and several private sessions, Betty was wiped out. I've never seen her tired before and it was sobering. Sometimes we forget that Betty is 88 years old. She has to retire at some point, doesn't she?

Trump's election was the icing on the cake of my despair. I felt defeated. I felt depressed. I felt beaten by hate and overwhelmed by the thought of this man - the posterboy for intolerance and misogyny - leading our nation.

I needed Bodysex.

Betty in the 80's

Mon, 10/31/2016 - 12:40
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We included this picture in the new edition of Betty's memoir.  Here she is vamping it up in black lace back in the 80's. 

Would be amazing to go back in time and have a drink with this woman.

This Group was Raucous

Thu, 10/20/2016 - 08:21
Submitted by Carlin Ross

When I get ready for a workshop, I spend about an hour setting up the space so that we sit in a perfect circle. Each corner of the room is softly lit, the back jacks are evenly spaced apart, and all the trays have the necessary implements. As Betty says, we're sitting "in the temple".

For me, the week leading into the workshop was over-the-top crazy. I was definitely suffering from Mommy brain but felt a bit more at ease since we were holding a certification workshop. We already know each woman and it has a more celebratory feel.

3D Clitoris in White Bronze

Mon, 10/10/2016 - 07:33
Submitted by Carlin Ross

This is our new favorite teaching tool for the workshops. The 3D clitoris in white bronze is in our etsy store for $75.00. 

It's lifesize - 2 by 2 inches - and weighs 1.5 ounces.  It includes the clitoral glans, the clitoral shaft and the bulbs and legs of the clitoris.  When you hold it in your hands, you better understand the complexity of the female sex organ. 

It's sitting on my desk and makes a striking accessory sure to provoke conversation.  I love this piece.

Best Sign From Polish Abortion Protest

Thu, 10/06/2016 - 07:14
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I'm so inspired by Polish women.  They quit work and turned out en masse to protest laws that would have completely banned abortion under any circumstances, fucking Catholic church.  The result: legislators quickly changed position. 

This is the kind of sweeping activism we are capable of; we do have the power.  My heart goes out to our Irish sisters who face similar legislative efforts to control their bodies. Here's another image to give you the idea of just how many women joined the protest:

Sex Must be Taught

Tue, 10/04/2016 - 07:46
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Yesterday I forced myself to watch Netflix's latest documentary Audrie & Daisy.  To listen to their hear their stories of rape and sexual abuse was chilling.  It was the typical American scenario: athlete boys lure the girls over to their homes, ply them with alcohol, assault them, take video/pictures and post them on social media.  There's an investigation but the boys get off scot free and the girls are slut shamed by their community (Daisy had her family home vandalized before it was burned down to the ground).

Is Independent Orgasm for Women Really Such a Big Deal?

Thu, 09/29/2016 - 08:11
Submitted by Carlin Ross

There's a part of me that questions the significance of Bodysex. Betty and I go back and forth wondering if we "drank the koolaid". Is independent orgasm for women really such a big deal? Running the groups has been a personal challenge, it's challenged our partnership but, after a workshop like this past weekend's, we know that the work is profound.

If I had to choose one word to describe this workshop, it would be thoughtful. All the women were so composed and reflective during group share. When someone reveals their most painful memory or hidden secret, the trust between everyone in the circle intensifies. The generosity of spirit in this group touched us. We felt honored to have been able to create a safe space for personal healing.

You Have to Know How to Throw a Punch

Wed, 09/28/2016 - 07:18
Submitted by Carlin Ross

After watching Hillary verbally beat down Trump in this weeks debate, I think it's fitting to see Gigi Hadid physically beat down this deadbeat. Can you imagine walking out into that melee trying to navigate through all those people and have some psycho grab you from behind? 

As a woman, you need to know how to throw a punch like Gigi. 

Considering Breast Implants - Read This

Fri, 09/23/2016 - 12:17
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I applaud Sara X Mills for blogging about why she removed her breast implants.  It's not often that women display this sort of honesty with respect to their bodies and failed plastic surgery.

She confirmed what I always thought about implants - they're not forever.  You have to replace them every 7-10 years even if you don't have any complications.  Even saline implants are encassed in silicone and the new cohesive silicone implants CAN leak.  Most importantly, you can develop a host of medical issues that aren't covered by your insurance like Sara experienced:

Jessie Graff is Perfection on the Emmys Red Carpet

Mon, 09/19/2016 - 08:12
Submitted by Carlin Ross

This picture of Jessie Graff at the Emmys is simply perfection.  She's a stuntwoman on Supergirl and was the first woman to complete the course on American Ninja Warrior. 

We need more women like Jessie displaying strength and power in plunging necklines.  LOVE