Sharing Orgasms Keeps Our Partnership Going

Wed, 10/25/2017 - 14:47
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Last June we announced Betty's retirement from Bodysex. A few months went by and we started having second thoughts. The groups feed Betty...emotionally...intellectually...sexually. The retreat really solidified our decision: we'd run groups in the Fall.

When your business partner is 88 years old, you know that they'll be a moment, a passing of the torch. You cling to denial but can't escape the reality of aging. When I look at our old youtube clips, I can see how I've aged over 9 years. So many things have changed and so many things have stayed the same. Our relationship has grown so deep that it transcends "family".

We had women from Israel, Canada, Tennessee, Massachusettes and Oklahoma. It was a small group which I thought would be best since we haven't run a group in several months. The mornings before the workshops is really the only quality Betty/Carlin time now that I have an active toddler. We have breakfast...talk business...joke and laugh. There has been a change in Betty. She's happy, content with less ire and more understanding that I attribute to age. Your ability as a teacher improves with time - there's this threshold you cross when you're approaching 90. It's beautiful to witness and it inspires me to continue Betty's work because it feeds your soul.

I wish we could record the group shares because they're a reflection of our rape culture: the sexual double standard, the slut stigma, negative body image and sexual abuse are replete in all our stories. There hasn't been a woman who feels great about her body, understands the depths of her orgasm, and enjoys sexual freedom. Sexual equality just doesn't exist for us...yet.

Woman coming forward and naming their accusers, writing op eds that get CEOs fired - that's the first step. Then we need to educate young women about their bodies and their orgasm. We need to sit in circles with our sisters and heal ourselves so we can heal the world. It has never been so clear to me.

At the end of Day 1, Betty looked at me and said, "you know you're running the group". I was going to correct her but knew she was right. Betty holds the space and I run the workshop. Somehow you think the passing of the torch will be more...climatic. It was so subtle that I almost didn't notice it. There has been a shift in our relationship, in our work, and it feels right. We will continue to run groups until Betty leaves the planet. They'll be smaller in size and I'll do the heavy lifting but Betty will be present guiding us. This transition was effortless and organic just like the beginning of our relationship.

A few weeks ago, Betty described how she looks forward to sharing orgasms during erotic recess, that it keeps our partnership going and I think she's right. We laid side by side riding each others orgasm waves for over an hour. I can't think of a greater truth than pleasure. I love to look over and watch her smile in ecstasy before she opens her eyes and meets my gaze. The feeling of connection and love wash over me - the other women have to feel it too.

This time we sat out during group massage, kept time and chatted while the women took turns practicing non-sexual touch. Several of the women said that this was their favorite ritual of the weekend. The images are so powerful that I shared my desire to take some pictures. Immediately, they all agreed and Betty set up the shot.

It was a beautiful weekend, too beautiful for words. I'm feeling a deep sense of gratitude like I've never known. Thank you

Clitty Anne
Hope
My Favorite
Love
K Boo
Marilyn
Roxy

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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Overcoming Shame

Mon, 10/30/2017 - 20:07

Hi Betty,

I want to take this opportunity during the living years to tell you how much you are loved.  You are my hero, I believe you have done more to fight the battle against sexual shame than any other single person.  You should know that when your final day has come that you will truly be missed.   You will no doubt live on in our collectiv memories as one of the greatest warriors against sexual shame of all time. 

In all of humanity there are few things that have given us more heart ache and pain in our lives than the shame heaped on our sexuality as children.  The self-righteous religious fanatics that preach fire and damnation to us as children leave such scars that some will never recover.  I for one, have spent a lifetime trying to overcome the shame heaped on me as a child.  That shame is heaped on both boys and girls destroying our innocence just as much as molestation or rape would.  Those scars we carry with us into adulthood and as a result our relationships in adulthood suffer greatly.

At 70 years of age I remember when there was no internet to surf for answers to questions we could not ask the adults in our lives.  I remember as a teen in Viet Nam wondering what sex was like and would I get a chance to experience it.  What a screwed up world we live in when we are old enough to die for our country but not to learn about our sexuality.  How hypocritical it is when children, including teens are protected from their sexuality by teaching fear and shame, but it’s okay for them to experience the horrors of war and the rampant violence on TV.

The world desperately needs you.  Your website makes me anger and delirious with joy at the same time.  Angry, at our society that heaps so much shame on us about our sexuality, stories told time
and time again in letters to you and Carlin.  Joyful, that your website provides a pathway for hope and sanity. 

Like any good leader you are mounting an army of followers to carry on after you by certifying Bodysex facilitators.  I cannot think of a better way to fight the battle against shame.  The shame heaped on us as children was not exclusively heaped on girls though.  Many men, if not most men have similar stories to tell and similar problems to overcome as a result.  I see that some of your facilitators have started to include men as well as women in their Bodysex sessions.  I’m not sure how it would work, it may be a good idea though; I for one can relate to most of the stories I read on your site.  

I cannot say it enough, I love you and your work.

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