Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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This email of thanks from Courtney made my day (even in Barbados):

Betty and Carlin,

I want to thank you guys so much for the service you provide here with your website. Last night you changed my life.

I'm 25, and until last night I'd believed I'd never really had an orgasm, except for possibly one time shortly after I started masturbating around the age of 12. I've masturbated almost religiously since then, often several times a day, with breaks occasionally where I just got too discouraged to try anymore and would quit for a few months.

Last night I read through the entire section on not being able to orgasm, and the stories of many women were eerily similar to mine. I feel something building, and I always feel just on the verge of coming, like I'm teetering on the edge of a cliff. But it feels too good, or too intense, and then all of a sudden I'm empty. Arousal leaves me and I don't want to be touched. This leaves me feeling unsatisfied and incomplete, and so frustrated.

Everytime your response to these women, women like me, was the same. THAT'S an orgasm. It doesn't feel like release, so I didn't think it was. Those feelings are so intense, and seem to be building towards something downright explosive, so the fizzle I get instead is, well, anticlimatic.

Because of your beautiful mission to educate us on our own bodies, I've come to the startlingly simple truth. For 13 years I've just been asking the wrong question. Instead of 'why can't I orgasm? What's wrong with me?' I should have been asking, 'What can I do to improve my orgasms?' it never occured to me to ask, because to improve I would need one to start.

Last night when I masturbated, I really focsed on the sensations, thinking about it from the standpoint that I orgasm every time I masturbate. And I realized you were right- it does feel like a release, just a quiet, gentle one. My inner muscles don't contract or convulse, but now I know they don't have to.

So today, I decided to try to keep going after my clit stopped being so sensitive. I slowly built up and ended up having five of my little orgasms. Instead of feeling frustrated I felt relaxed and sleepy and content. There was no more pressure on myself.

Now, instead of giving up after not orgasming, I'm going to enjoy myself, and see if I can't start building up to more intense orgasms. Now that I know the right question to ask, I know I can experiment with my orgasms (I'm still in disbelief that I can put those two words together!) until they're more satisfying. Not giving up after one already looks like it'll help!

So once again, thank you so much. It seems like such a simple thing, but for me it's not. I felt broken, and ashamed having to admit to partners I wouldn't be able to orgasm with them. Now I'm excited by the prospect of fun mornings (and afternoons, and evenings...) exploring a part of myself I never realized existed. I feel like Cinderella finally getting to go to the ball. I don't know if that makes you two my Fairy Sexy Godmothers, but I'm grateful :D

So keep doing what you're doing. The women of this world need you.