Since Menopause Sex Burns

Sun, 09/03/2017 - 07:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty

I have just finished reading an article in the July issue of Next magazine (New Zealand) about sex for the over 50's, and the article mentioned your website. I have been experiencing painful sex for the past 5 years, and so I jumped on to your website looking for a bit of help. I am writing now asking for help because I am getting desperate!

I am 54, and started menopause at 49. I haven't had a period for 24 months now. I would dearly love to have sex more with my husband  (and he would too) but it is so painful. We have been together 10 years, married for 3 (he’s my second husband). Having been happily divorced and single for over 10 years, when I met Daryl our sex life was incredible and very frequent, and remained so for 5 years, until I started menopause. After 5 years of frequent and awesome sex, one day it suddenly hurt and I bled, having small paper-cut like lesions just on the outside and slightly inside my vagina. Long story short, my doctor said it was the start of menopause, and so it all started.

Ever since that day sex has hurt. It feels like an intense Chinese burn, and I frequently get small lesions like paper cuts which bleed, which sometimes get infected and form blisters. I have seen several gynaecologists, dermatologists, had biopsies, had many prescribed creams and potions, oestrogen creams, steroid creams etc, I was even told it was all in my head by one specialist! Really!! Even after I showed pictures of the infected blisters oozing puss! Not a single thing helped or improved anything.

I am told by my doctor and the specialists that sex can be painful during and after menopause, and I’ve pretty much been told that I just have to learn to live with this. And I hate it - I love sex with my husband and love him dearly. I would love to have pain free sex again. To be able to have sex whenever we want. He is very patient, and when the lesions have healed we try again, but its not really enjoyable because he knows it is hurting me, and while I try and smile and say its ok, its really hurting! We of course do other things including oral sex, and we love playing etc., but we love intercourse too. I just wish I could find something to help. I've tried wine (and more wine!) to try and relax, numbing creams, vibrators to try and stretch, but nothing seems to help. Its as if my whole vagina has tightened, and the skin has got so thin that it just gets tiny tears when we have intercourse.

I don't accept what the doc says, that I have to learn to live with this, there must be something I can do to make this better? Any advice you have Betty would be awesome.

Thank you :)

Dear D,

You need to start applying hormone replacement cream. I have an article on the website dealing with this. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). I'm nearly ninety and still love vaginal penetration. But once a week I apply estrogen cream in my vagina. Read my essay that explains this.

Happy Fucking.

Dr Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time