What Can I Say When Criticized for Casual Sex & Multiple Partners?

Sun, 02/26/2017 - 14:15
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello! Thanks for your time.

I don't know how to respond to people about this. I know the insult isn't justified, but I do like sleeping with multiple guys. People say I put myself at risk too much. Not just about STDs but also for pregnancy. The funny thing, is that I risk being preggo much less often than lots of ppl in relationships do! Like if I hookup a few times a month vs most people who have sex with their partner at least a few times a week.

They say it's different though, since they know each other if a baby happens. But I feel like the overall consequence is the same. Plus I usually take less risk, I'm on BC, use condoms, and usually ask him to pullout even with a condom on. I know plenty of couples that just solely rely on the pill.

They don't really care or respond when I point all of that out. Or when I say that having STDs doesn't have to be a big deal, or just only from casual sex. They act like they're better than I am, but I don't insult them at all. I just like to have fun.

What can I say back, when ppl don't care about the facts or just being more positive about sex? I'm almost scared to share any sex stories now, or participate when everyone swaps stories.

R

Dear R, You are simply sexual! Mostly they are silently jealous. When we dare to make our own rules, those who are fearful of doing so will always put you down. Just ignore them and continue to enjoy yourself.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Hi If its a guy doing that

NOWHARD's picture
Mon, 02/27/2017 - 14:18

Hi If its a guy doing that they would call him a stud if a women does it she tagged a slut, for me your just a studess, if it makes you happy and your enjoying your sex life than take no notice of these sick people. OK

NOWHARD

What to say

Tue, 02/28/2017 - 10:07

"What can I say back, when ppl don't care about the facts or just being more positive about sex?"

You can say that you're happy, happy to be living your life the way you want to live and with such generous warm people to support your choices.

You could stress that you make informed decisions and always take responsbility for knowing and managing any risks that you come across.

You can say that thankfully the world is full of very different people with very different needs and desires and wouldn't it be sad to be living in anything less. 

And you could add that your more than happy to share any of the information or help that you've received from others along your journey.

From an older perspective

Tue, 02/28/2017 - 10:57

My gf and I had a competition and probably slept with a three digits. I found out what is quality and it came in the form of my last liover before I met my dh. We were married for 39 years. He passed away 11 months ago.

Life is full of surprises. I am in a LDR with my last lover. We are both the same age. The sex is great and different because of toys.We talk every day a lot about sex and are seeing each other in a couple of weeks. We have no baggage. The relationship satisfies the two things I want in life. A close intimate one and hot crazy sex. We are both lustful.

He believes She Comes First. I just completed the Pleasure Pledge. Still doing it. He likes to hear about my efforts.

I read Helen Gurley Brown's bio. She slept with 178. It continued after she married. She was orgasmic when kissing. Wonder how many were married. Last time she shagged her dh, he was 93. She was 89.

There are those like me at

Thu, 03/02/2017 - 08:58

There are those like me at the opposite end of the spectrum, a male with aspergers who never gets the chance to sleep with one women let alone lots. I've decided that when my parents arent around and i'm on my own to commit suicide.

 so, why do you need to share

Wed, 03/01/2017 - 11:09
lsjb (not verified)

 so, why do you need to share your sex life with others?  Multiple sex partners doesn't include multipe private information sharers?  Are you certain that the titillating details are not what you are really interested in sharing?  Really, do what you like and stop being affected by what others---- say and stop telling them.  ----

to Robin -- find a good therapist who can teach you social skills that will help. There are many books on Amazon to help Aspies know what women want, what relatioships are about as well as the various sexual acts.  This website has lots of videos etc to help you too.  Aspergers should not seem a sentence but, you're right,you need to learn some social skills.  

Good for you as long as it is for you

martiB's picture
Thu, 03/02/2017 - 08:36

R,
I say good for you, the more the better but as long as it is pleasurable and fulfilling to you. It is very liberating and frankly some women simply have stronger needs and urges. I certainly do.
But you do not want to be doing this to seek affirmation from others or because you seek a man for permission to enjoy your pleasure. Also, I find I can achieve and sustain more pleasure from a companion who knows me better and that means having had multiple sexual experiences with.  One night stand are hit or miss and I found myself often less than satisfied and having to immediately pursue another. 
A healthy mix of masturbation, sex with a familiar companion, and the excitement of different sexual partners may be what you need most.

Good for you as long as it is for you

martiB's picture
Thu, 03/02/2017 - 08:38

R,
I say good for you, the more the better but as long as it is pleasurable and fulfilling to you. It is very liberating and frankly some women simply have stronger needs and urges. I certainly do.
But you do not want to be doing this to seek affirmation from others or because you seek a man for permission to enjoy your pleasure. Also, I find I can achieve and sustain more pleasure from a companion who knows me better and that means having had multiple sexual experiences with.  One night stand are hit or miss and I found myself often less than satisfied and having to immediately pursue another. 
A healthy mix of masturbation, sex with a familiar companion, and the excitement of different sexual partners may be what you need most. Now days, it is not at all unusual or taboo to enjoy sex as you do but mix it up and you may be orgasmically surprised.

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