I Would Love to have Sex with a Woman but I Couldn't Imagine Being in a Relationship with One

Fri, 08/22/2014 - 10:08
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr Betty,

I am a teenage girl who loves self pleasure. I have been masturbating for years now but only stuck to clitoral stimulation. Recently I've been trying fingering, I followed the instructions on your guide to masturbation and that helped with getting one finger in without any pain or discomfort. The problem is I derive no pleasure from it and when I pull my finger out it is very uncomfortable. I've tried several times, I even tried to have one or two orgasms before attempting to finger myself but I can never fit in more than one and it just does not feel good. As it is I am able to have very intense and satisfying orgasms but I want to try this and it's frustrating that I can't.

Also, I have never really questioned my sexuality, I have always just went with the belief that I am heterosexual and hetero-romantic, however I have been very sexually attracted to other women lately. When I was younger I would fantasize about having sex with women but never really thought about it in depth. I would love to have sex with a woman but I couldn't imagine myself being a relationship with one? Am I confused because of my age or is it possible to be bisexual and hetero-romantic?

Please help!

Dear M,

Vaginal penetration is just a matter of practicing and learning to engage your PC muscle. That's the one the one that stops the flow of urine. Once you locate it you can use it to aid vaginal penetration but only after you are very aroused from clitoral stimulation. And always use plenty of an organic massage oil.

Finally, don't be in such a hurry. For now your clitoral stimulation is best. And don't be overly concerned with your sexual identity. Hopefully you will get to try both before deciding. Having orgasms with yourself is your foundation and from that every thing else will follow in due time.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Fri, 10/14/2016 - 09:21
T (not verified)

I too have often wondered why I love sex with women, lesbian porn, vagina, clitoris, and breast, but have zero desire to be in a relationship with a woman. I'm 45 and would love to understand this about myself. Why can't I be just as turned on by the male genitalia as I am by the female? It makes very sad.