Dear Betty and Carlin,
I am 22 years old women, I feel I have a good sex life, with myself and others. I can orgasm, more so with partner sex than on my own. The problem I have with masturbating is when I rub my clitoris and use my dildo, which is my normal technique, I can reach a climax (not an orgasm) very quickly, within about 2 minutes. Once I have this climax my sexual desire completely disappears, how can I stop this, so I can continue masturbating to orgasm?
I also have this problem during partner sex, if we are having vaginal penetration and I don't simulate my clitoris, I enjoy the experience for a long time. But as soon as I rub my clit at the same time, I will have one very intense orgasm, but will lose my sex drive. Do you have any suggestions how I can incorporate my clit into partner sex, being able to orgasm, and then continue.
Also I just wanted to say how inspiring the two of you are, I share your youtube channel with all of my friends the first chance I have and they are all hooked. And who wouldn't be, two sexual confident and liberated women, you two are the role models my generation need so badly!
All my love,
Happy to hear you're having orgasms alone and with your partner. I'm not sure what you mean by separating "climax" from "orgasm." It usually means the same thing but I get where you're going. Orgasm is better than a climax, yes?
A two minute build-up is not enough time to get your sex energy circulating, so SLOW DOWN woman! Get some organic oil like coconut or almond and gently touch your clitoris. No more "rubbing" with pressure. Slow and easy does it.
Also, after you have the first orgasm, just rest a few minutes and go again. Who says one climax is all there is for us? When we are getting the kind of clit stim we prefer, we can go again and again and again. Just give Clitty a rest after she's fired off all 8,000 nerve endings. While she's resting don't leave the mental space of sexual pleasure. Keep your pelvis rocking while squeezing the PC muscles to let your body know it's not over yet. Got it?
Now go knock yourself out with as many orgasms as you desire.