Do You Believe the Female Sex Drive Exceeds the Male Sex Drive?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:55
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Dodson,

A few years ago, you wrote

"I would agree with the Orthodox Jews on this one point. . . .men can't do anything but have sexual intercourse with their wives, while she can do anything like masturbate, use vibes, dildos, porn anything at all. It a reverse double standard in a way. The female sex drive far exceeds that of the male but it remains one of the best kept secrets thanks to our sexual double standard."

I thought that was very interesting because it's not what I typically hear from experts. Do you still stand by this? Is it because we have limited energy, while women have limitless?


Dear R,

I would change my words to clarify that BOTH sexes benefit from masturbation! However the statement: "The female sex drive far exceeds that of the male" is quite accurate. Today I'd change the term "sex drive" to "sexual appetite" or better yet, "sexual capabilities" once she has overcome sex negative messages all women get within our Judeo-Christian nation that fosters fear, ignorance and sexual repression.

This is because so many otherwise intelligent people are still hooked on the Bible that never was the "The word of god" but a collection of different philosophies written by many different men over an extended period of time. Outdated to say the least and destructive to tell the truth.

I'm the kind of author who could edit what I say forever as each run through helps to clarify my thoughts. Especially when it comes to sex as I'm questioning ideas that were put in place by the fuckless Judeo-Christian religions that have left us all sexually wounded in the backwaters of our human potential. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, just add a little pot to the mix.

Betty Dodson

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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re: Fuckless Judeo-Christian Religions

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 05:55
NorthLondonHousewife (not verified)

It is possible to be Christian and enjoy great sex.

Christ said nothing about birth control, abortion or masturbation. He said nothing about the many glorious ways of being human, straight, gay, cis, trans. He just made the miracle.

I'm not orthodox Jewish, not a follower of the laws of Leviticus or indeed end-of-days lectures from St Paul telling me to curb my licentious ways.

I see no contradiction between my religion and living a physical life. God gave me this body to cherish and that is what I plan to do.

Like any other historical polictical organisation, the Church has been used and continues to be used by some to maintain the existing power structures on both a personal and social level, one reinforces the other.

But we need not to concede the ground, not to accept the borders, the boundaries other people would put upon us. Stereotypes are not useful. This is my church, just as much as it is my body and I am not ready to leave it to the fundamentalists.

I do not belong to a fuckless faith.

Good for you NorthLondonHousewife

Betty Dodson's picture
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:06
Betty Dodson

I'm happy to know you are a sexual Christian. I'm not criticizing individuals but the institution of any religion taking the Bible as the word of god. Read what I said again. We need to hear more from individuals lke yourself who are sex positive Christians.

Beyond gender supremacy, towards universal good will

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:00

I grew up in a culture filled with messages that males were 'superior' and women were lesser beings. As soon as I grew old enough to think about this, I rejected it wholeheartedly. Today I believe it's time to put to rest all notions that any class of human beings is innately superior, whether sexually, intellectually, or in any other way. The inevitable result of assertions of superiority is divisiveness, smugness, and (when given the opportunity) oppression based on the belief that the 'superior' being is more worthy and more deserving. There are as many variations of 'sexual capability' as there are human beings, and all human beings have tremendous untapped sexual and creative potential. Furthermore, all of us are inter-dependent, fragile creatures who need all the support from one another we can get. We need to realize that the competing categories into which we divide ourselves are illusions. There's no other way we're going to make it as a species.

I can always count on you Patrick

Betty Dodson's picture
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:35
Betty Dodson

To reign me in when in when I get carried away. It's just that after 2000 years of being the lessor sex, I do get some pleasure from flipping the coin. I know you aim for a more perfect world and I just want to give women an extra boost on our way to that vision, which is a long way off as you know. I doubt my female pride comments will set us back too far.

Peace out!

The idea that either male or

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 07:39
JS (not verified)

The idea that either male or female is sexually superior fly's in the face of common sense. Everyone is different and often times the critieria are quite subjective at best. I think there are a lot of men and women addicted to sex that addiction now passes for "drive." A drug has a HUGE drive for drugs. Sex stimulates the brain in a similar way according to research. I would say those who are sexually enlightened are the ones who have deep quality sex. Doing it with a lot of people does not prove anything other that you did it with a lot of people. Quality, not quantity right?

Thanks, Dr Betty

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 11:29

I appreciate your gracious words, and of course your work as a whole. And you're right; when people have been kept down, they may need that extra boost from time to time. We all need confidence and pride in ourselves, all the more so if we've been oppressed. I do think that the study of sex is still in its infancy, and the decades and centuries to come will reveal many more wonderful things about our human sexual potential, female and male alike. It will be both fun and rewarding to make that journey together, in common fellowship, with other people of good will.

Women sexual interest

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 20:06
Neo (not verified)

Dear Betty or To Whom It May Concern,
So someone claims the women's sex drive exceed men. Prove it. Where is the evidence females have higher sex drive? Reminder:Whoever makes the assertion the burden of proof rest on their shoulder.

OK Neo, I don't have to prove shit!

Betty Dodson's picture
Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:04
Betty Dodson

However, I'd change sex drive to orgasmic capability. Unless a man has practiced semen retention, he's pretty much finished after one, two or three loads have been shot. However, a liberated woman can have repeated orgasms for hours until she's exhausted. Back in the day when groupsex parties were our favorite Saturday night activity, with a room full of guys and gals, I discovered that after 10 or more good fucks with many ending in orgasm, several women and I would end up using our vibrators for several more delicous hours to keep on coming.

Ya wanna drop by for a contest?

Unless able to quantify

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 05:55
Jeff (not verified)

Unless able to quantify 'sexual appetite,' I'd say because of 'slut shaming' in our society it's impossible to accurately describe or measure sex-drive. Contrary to the conventional wisdom I grew up with (men's appetite peakes around age 20, woman's around 40) I've never been hornier in my life at age 42. I wake up early enough every morning to leisurely masturbate without having to rush, sometimes putting off climax for 2 or 3 hours before finishing (closing my eyes, I can get off 'quick and dirty' in under 12 minutes.) And this is just my 'morning wank.' A slow sex day I'll do this, then repeat before bed. But more typically I'll get off a couple more times in the middle of the day. I'm consequently often aghast reading how many people don't masturbate or have sex but once or twice a week. No better reason in the morning to leave a warm cozy bed than you get to cum, and nothing helps a guy fall asleep better and more naturally than climax resolution/refractory period. :)

Sex and Christianity

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 02:14
Fallenangel77 (not verified)

This peaked my interest (honestly, everything here peaks my interest; who am I kidding). I am very much a follower and believer in God and Jesus Christ. HOWEVER, I DO NOT subscribe to a God that Looks down on, abhors, or prohibits sexual pleasures IN ANY RESPECT. I'm hard-pressed to believe He made something to feel so amazing only to "punish" those of us who act upon it. It makes no logical sense. I'm thankful every day to my mother (now I, in turn, pass down same to my teen daughters) who taught me EQUALLY just as much about our Creator as about sex and sexual pleasure. My mother once said (and I frequently quote her to this day) : "IF GOD MADE ANYTHING BETTER, HE KEPT IT FOR HIMSELF". True words from a wise woman. ;)