How Do I Use My PC Muscle to Maximize My Orgasms?

Sat, 01/18/2014 - 16:04
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I feel compelled to write so that I can tell you my story.

I am 62 and had never masturbated in my entire life, primarily through ignorance. I don’t recall ever having a feeling as a child or teenager to masturbate, and I don’t recall my parents having an opinion one way or the other about masturbating. The topic just never came up. The point is that I never touched my clit for 62 years.

I started masturbating last fall and had the second orgasm of my life (the first came some years ago from a delicious wet dream) a week before I found your site. But since I found your site, masturbation and sex is all I think about, and I am always anticipating my next session. I feel giddy with the sexual excitement that learning to masturbate has given me.

I have learned so much from your site. It’s simply astounding! Aside from the orgasm itself, my favorite part of each masturbation session is the vulva massage. I actually have quite a splendid vulva, and I spend a lot of time massaging my genitals because the touch feels so divine. And my orgasms have become stronger and seem to be lasting longer—just like you say they will.

And I find it amazing how forgiving the human body can be. From no masturbation to frequent orgasms in this short period of time after neglect for decades bespeaks the power of the human body.

Words are simply inadequate to tell you how grateful I am for your information. What a lucky woman I am to have found your site! To be able to live the rest of my life knowing that I have the power to allow my body to orgasm and enjoy pleasure. Just like you said, I feel more powerful and happier knowing that I can give myself the gift of an orgasm. And given your age and experience, I now have reason to believe that I have a shot at partnersex and many, many self-loving sessions for years to come.

This is an enormous gift of incalculable value.

But, even though I have been having orgasms, the pleasure has not come without some confusion and misgiving lately, and I am currently in a funk. A couple of weeks ago I had my first multiple orgasm masturbation session. My body was humming. I had a great time, and I was so happy. But afterwards I got to thinking about what had happened (sorry, it’s part of my make-up to over-analyze everything) and the experience has led to confusion on several points:

• When I have my feet flat on the bed with my legs bent to support the pelvic rocking, are my legs involved in the process at all or am I supposed to isolate that movement only to my hips or only my PC muscle? After the multi-orgasm session my right leg was achy for a long time. Even though it took more than an hour masturbating with pelvic rocking to experience the first orgasm, which is pretty typical now, I am wondering if I have gotten off track and am now doing tension orgasms using tight clenching of the barbell and my right leg. This might explain the achiness in my right leg.

• Also, during the pelvic rocking with the barbell, am I supposed to be clenching the barbell tightly or just normally? My PC muscle strength has greatly improved since I started using the barbell and masturbating, but I am now clenching the barbell tightly as I am doing the pelvic rocking, and when I move the vibrator to my clit in sync with the clenching, there’s an ‘electric’ connection between the clit and the vagina that feels great. But the question is whether the clenching of the barbell is really using tension to achieve orgasm. I referred back to your eBook to review the steps, as I do periodically, and did some research on your web site about squeezing the barbell to see if I could get a definitive answer, but without success.

• Finally, during my most recent masturbation session, I thought that I had three orgasms but during the last two, I peed. Not intentionally nor am I interested in squirting or ejaculation. But I thought the peeing was a consequence of the orgasm, and now I’m not so sure. Although I wasn’t upset that I peed, I don’t want to pee when I orgasm—and normally I don’t—and I don’t want to pee during partnersex, so now I am concerned that I misinterpreted the last two orgasms and the issue is my technique.

Don’t misunderstand me. I am not complaining about having the orgasms. All of them felt great.

But since I started masturbating so late in life, I want to make sure I learn good technique. I’m making up for a lot of years of neglect, and I want to maximize the years I have left and become the extraordinary lover that you talk about on your site. Genital massage and orgasm are so delicious I want to do them right. Can you help me with my technique?

Dear C,

What a delightful email. Congratulations on becoming orgasmic in your early 60's. Just remember, your 70's are the youth of old age so you have a great decade coming up.

The best use of the pelvic floor muscle is to Squeeze (lifting up) and then Release (letting it go). Not holding it tight the whole time. Just before you "come" it can be tight, but up to then it's a rhythmic motion of squeezing and releasing. Don't worry about releasing urine. Just observe that you don't bear down as you become more aroused. Squeeze and then Release or let go. As for muscle tension in your legs, yes there will be some. Having an orgasm requires the use of our muscles. Just be aware that you do not lock your leg muscles so tight that you get a cramp. Feeling a little stiff or discovering a few sore muscles is just part of enjoying sex so don't fret.

I'm so proud of you. Like you said, It's a testimony to the power of our bodies to seek pleasure at any age. You have so many good years ahead of you. Enjoy.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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This was a beautiful e-mail.

Sun, 01/19/2014 - 13:38
Elin A (not verified)

This was a beautiful e-mail. To discover something new and giddying at 62. Wonderful!

Bearing down...

Mon, 01/20/2014 - 15:53

Sorry, just wanted to ask, what do you mean by bearing down? Is it just not to clench your oc muscles?

Dear yum83, Please ask questions from Ask Betty next time. .

Betty Dodson's picture
Mon, 01/20/2014 - 15:55

Bearing down as in giving birth or straining to have a bowel movement. Pushing out.
When you clench your muscles, you are squeezing them tight by lifting up. Think of this as pulling in pleasure vs pushing it away. Got it?

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