Need to Spice Up Our Marriage

Tue, 01/01/2013 - 10:23
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi, My name is B, my partner, and love of my life, is K.

We were both Active duty Marines, and for the first 6 months of our relationship, we went wild with sex, i'd pick her up and walk her around the room, throw her around across the bed, break doors while walking around with her, bend her over in the shower, sex in the kitchen, on the stove, on the counter, couch.. floor, balcony. and everywhere else, oh, we had sex in the parking lot of our BAS (Battalion Aide Station right before work alot too)...

Now it all sounds great.. the problem is, since Sept. 27, 2009, 6 months later, a deployment, the return, her being pregnant, and now here we are, and our sex life is DULL. How do we fix it?

The reason i am inquiring is for multiple reasons, i masturbate 3-5 times a day, she masturbates once a week? She hates porn, or anything to stimulate the mood, except for when she drinks, and then she rides me raw, and doesn't remember any of it the day after. What do we do?

She is kind of conservative, well i say kind of, she's open to new things, w/ explanations, and everything written down on paper of how to do something, or different positions. I want to have a spicy sex life, and I want to have a thrilling wife. How can i help her? i got her a package of toys for christmas, here is the link:

I am looking for anything and anyone to help us restore our sexual encounters to liven the mood, and enhance our relationship once more. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and you can use this to post for others having the same problems, I'm a huge fan of the site, and read everything you put up!

Dear B,

What you described as 6 months of hot sex would make you a top performer in the Cirque du Soleil. But it sounds like mostly like you fucking while she held on for dear life. As you must have noticed on our website, I promote clitoral stimulation during vaginal penetration. Also I'm not so sure the Trojan toys are the answer. They too seem to be mostly geared to penis/vagina intercourse. The best choice would be to have your wife in control of her own clitoris while you focus on some sweet thrusting. You can forget about slamming around the room. As they say, "The honeymoon is over."

The beginning of most love affairs is hot and passionate if we're lucky BUT after that both partners settle into some kind of routine. AND you now have a baby? If I understand you correctly, for the past 4 years your sex life has become DULL and you want to know how to fix it?

First, stop comparing what is happening now to how it was in the beginning. Her main focus is raising a child now and will continue until baby goes to nursery school. Enjoy what is available. Instead of masturbating 3 to 5 times a day, bring it down to once a day and learn to master come control. Those few minutes of vaginal thrusting doesn't get it for most women in terms of our pleasure. 20 to 45 minutes of thrusting while she engages her clitoris is what most women want/need to have a nice full orgasm. The fact that she gets drunk in order to enjoy partnersex is not a good sign, especially that she doesn't remember what took place. She might benefit from some short term counseling to let go of her sexual inhibitions, chill out with the booze while you learn how to last longer.

A good vibrator for clit stim during intercourse is the Eroscillator. It's slim and can easily be used between two bodies. I also like the Magic Wand which is very strong so it's also a great massage machine that plugs in. The Mystic Wand is much smaller and is battery operated. The first and most important sex toy is a good lubrication like an organic massage oil. All clitorises and penises appreciate slippery fingers when being touched.

I don't like porn much either. Show her some of our streaming clips of couples having the kind of sex more women like. Also count your blessings and have an orgasmic New Year.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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