Addicted to Porn. Can't Maintain an Erection Without It

Thu, 12/13/2012 - 15:29
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey. Betty,

I am happily married and have over the last few years have become addicted to porn and masturbation. What is your view on ED and porn? I feel I have been desensitized and cant get an erection with my wife. But I can get an erection watching porn specially watching women masturbate, something she refuses to do.

Dear N,

Here's another example of how damaging porn can be to men. The other side of the coin is how repressed most women are when it comes to expressing their own sexuality, especially by sharing masturbation. Get a copy of my book Sex for One and give it to her for Xmas.

I'd be tempted to tell your wife exactly what you told me. That watching a woman masturbate is your best way to get sexually aroused which would end your ED and revitalize your marital sex. If she won't go along with that, then continue watching women masturbate while you use the sex toy called a Fleshlight. One guy said it was superior to fucking his wife. At least you'll have better orgasms with yourself.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I don't agree with your advice here

Thu, 12/13/2012 - 22:36
Collette

Betty, I don't agree with your advice here. Being the wife of a man who masturbated frequently, but couldn't wasn't interested in having sex with me, was extremely painful. This guy says they are happily married. Then he should work on his sexual relationship with his wife and not just give up because she doesn't want to masturbate for him. Maybe she doesn't know how to masturbate. Maybe she does, but doesn't feel comfortable doing it in front of him. We don't know what the dynamics of their relationship are. We don't know what it would take to improve their sex life. Believe me, if this man is feeling like it's not working for him, it is not working for her either, and their marriage is suffering because of it. 
I would advise that he open a dialogue with his wife and that they consider getting help from a sex therapist. Maybe they could watch porn together or find some other activities that would be mutually satisfying. There is nothing inherently wrong with watching porn and masturbating, but this man is saying he feels he has become desensitized. That can't be fun for him or her.

He's viewing the wrong kind if porn.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:30
Jake E

 If he sort out images that reflect the reality of his sex life, he could romanticise that and really want it. The only way I can explain this very real mental effect, is people will travel to see the location where a great movie scene was shot, which, without that movie scene would just be like any other bit of nowhere.