Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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So, I'm a supressed slut. It's rather terrible. I'm a virgin who knows exactly what my body wants and needs to feel pleasure, and I've finally realized who I am sexually. But here's one thing: all the men I've been interested in will not touch me no matter how much I beg. They feel guilty for "soiling" a virgin.

And I am left alone just me and my vibrator in the end. I've had guy friends all my life, and from what I've gathered if a women is openly offering sex, they'll take it! but why not from a virgin? I made a move on a guy that had been making moves on me for a while,I felt safe and secure, so I went for it, no harm in that right? Why do you suppose I'm getting this reaction from the guys I'm involved with?

Dear H,

I suspect that it might be the fact that first time sex often leads a woman to "falling in love" and becoming dependent. Most guys fear that kind of responsibility. You didn't mention your age so that might also scare away guys if you're under 18. I think you would be better off penetrating yourself. Here's a link to my how-to-penetrate-your-own-vagina article.

Once you are comfortable penetrating yourself, then you can approach the next young man with your interest in having sex without bringing up the fact that you are a "virgin." After all, what does the word really mean? A woman who is orgasmic with herself and has practiced vaginal penetration is NOT technically a virgin. The way we use the word today is ridiculous. The original meaning was a woman who had taken a vow not to marry as in the Vestal Virgins. Get back to me when you have accomplished what you seek.

Dr. Betty

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