Hi Dr. Betty,
Firstly thank you for helping me reach my first partner-orgasm! It was your advice on mimicking patterns and strokes I use in masturbation that finally helped me orgasm through oral sex with my partner. Man oh man, I won't forget that.
Now, on to my dramas! I've been with my current partner for 2 months, and we've been having regular sex on a weekly basis, typically 1-3 times a weekend, once during the week. My partner is quite a 'big' guy, so there is quite a lot of friction when we do have sex. When I'm not naturally lubricated enough, we use KY jelly. However I'm still finding that up to 3 days later (after just a single round of sex) I'm still feeling "raw", even when I'm intensely aroused.
We make up for it through other activities, but still it's quite frustrating for both of us, and I fear it's dulling our sex life. Is this simply a matter of not enough lubrication? I feel like I'm having to slather an entire tube of KY jelly at the moment, so could there be another factor?
Depending upon your type of birth control pill, condoms or diaphragm, I recommend Almond Oil. Although I think it's "overkill" latex will break down with oil. KY is a shitty lube with far too many chemicals. If you must use water based, we recommend Liquid Silk. Inbetween sessions with your Big Guy, use a dildo when masturbating and check out my info on the Vaginal Barbell. Using your pelvic floor muscles facilitates penetration.
You might possible be allergic to the KY or latex. Also, ask him to slow down during penetration. No banging your box please. It's likely that none of this would be happening if he wasn't circumcised as the foreskin also helps with lubrication and the penis glides and not so much friction is needed.