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How Do I Raise Sexually Open-Minded Children?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:02
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Betty,

I find your views spot on and full of clear guidance within the darkness of repression within and around us. To bring us further out of the darkness can you point to some articles or respond with your current thoughts on raising children so as to foster openness about sexuality and specifically the ability to accept and enjoy pleasure as adults later in life?

My current take on the matter is to make sure we as parents work on our own attitudes, behaviors and allow pleasure whether it be sexual or not into to home. And, when our kids make observations, we talk openly about the topics as best as possible working with the child's own level of understanding. Realizing that the key point is not restricting masterbation when self discovery occurs, what other salient points are pertinent to sexual education in the home during upbringing?

Thanks in advance if you have the time and choose to respond. May your travels be pleasurable.

J

Dear J,

I applaud your current understanding of raising sex-positive happy children. There is not much more I could add to what you have already stated. The most important aspect is to enjoy the sexlife you are currently having with your wife that usually includes open displays of affection between the two of you.

And of course not to interfere with their sexual explorations via masturbation. You don't have to encourage or condemn it. And answering their sex question with age appropriate information is perfect. You're a great Dad, so here's to a Happy Father's Day!

Dr. Betty

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I think it's important to

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 13:43
elin

I think it's important to take it another step from not just not restricting masturbation, but to actively encourage it when the child hits puberty and really talk it through. Not all discover it on their own or/and don't know why it's important. Many do it, but don't own it and feel weird about it. Just saying it's natural and ok is not enough, especially when there's so much sex-negativity surrounding us. You need additional positive reinforcement.

I would also respect the child

Sat, 06/23/2012 - 18:36
Heylin

My children go from being curious about sexual matters, with one of my daughters proclaiming that she should have been allowed at a recent sex toy party I had because "I have a right to know about such stuff". My reply was that I would be happy to answer any questions she had but the law stated that with other people around, talking about sexual matters around children is against the law. The opposite end is when they are troubled by such matters. For some reason, my younger daughter is very distraught over sex ed in school and both my younger children thought the mechanics of heterosexual intercourse were extremely disgusting. So I play it by ear and try to encourage tolerance and self acceptance in my children while also letting them know that they can establish any boundaries that feel comfortable to them.

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