Why So Negative About a Man Ejaculating on the Woman?

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 11:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I see a lot of comment criticizing men who like to ejaculate on their partners, especially on their tits or face. I have always wondered why so many women look upon that so negatively. My girlfriend has no problem with that (except in the eye which is painful), but really doesn't understand why it is such a turn on for men. I don't really know why it is either, but it is for me.

Sometimes I think that the objection to it is because so many men in porn ejaculate on their partners on film. And indeed most porn is for men. But I think if it weren't such a staple of porn, there would not be so much objection to it.

There does not seem to be much objection to women coming on men's faces, from men or from women. I suspect that most men would find that very pleasurable. I know that I do.

So I am curious if Betty and Carlin do indeed find it to be objectionable, and why. I am also interested in other readers' opinions.

Dear E,

My opinion about a man coming on a woman's heavily made up face (as in porn) is a form of humiliation or surrender for a woman who is often on her knees giving a guy a blow job. I'm sure a man feels more powerful or dominant as he watches her worshiping her master's penis. If we see this as consensual Slave/Master role play, it's not a problem. However, to assume that's what all women want is to be uninformed.

I personally dislike it and have always said so. Too many men expect women to gobble up their come like it's something so yummy and precious. Truth is that most guys' ejaculate tastes awful thanks to bad diets. You don't see that many straight men swallowing their own cum. I believe this particular sex act is a direct result of guys watching porn. If some women like to get a jism facial, then it's fine. We are told it's good for our skin, but I don't see guys taking advantage of it for their own complexions. I feel the same way about a woman squirting. I'd rather watch than taste. Some times there is just too much urine mixed in and I'm a fussy Virgo.

Different strokes for different folks.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Whatever floats your boat.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 14:35

Whatever floats your boat.

no humiliating acts please

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 20:39
BorderReiver (not verified)

I've seen a lot of porn flix over the years, and I purposely avoid the ones in which women are humiliated.
I hate seeing a woman on her knees in front of a man.  I don't much care for women doing blows either.
Blows have never really done it for me.  Maybe I'm weird, but I think it would be humiliating for a woman to blow a man.
I've never asked any woman to do that.  There have been some who volunteered to do so, and it felt good, but not so good that I have to have it. 
I just don't like to see anyone humiliated for the sake of "fun".  Whose fun anyway?
I would never do anything to anyone which I consider to be humiliating.  I treat my wife like she's the queen of the planet.  I was always good to all her predecessors too.
I always let them finish their orgasm before I kicked them to the curb.
On the other hand; and if this makes me hypocritical, so be it..............
I love giving oral to a woman.  Sometimes I would almost rather do that than fuck.
Go figure..........

I don't really know why

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 22:41
Fruit Taster (not verified)

I don't really know why coming on a woman's face should be interesting. As a man who enjoys good porn but hates a lot of the disgusting shit that is put out there, I don't look for cum-on-face in porn and I find it puzzling when I see it. I don't mind people who do like it. Some women say they like it, which shows just how much of a personal preference it is. It's polarizing. It just doesn't turn me on. So I skip it.
However that is not to say that I don't find ejaculating on someone sexy. I find that ejaculating on a woman's pussy can be incredibly hot, whether watching it or doing it. I am also partial to ejaculating on my wife's breasts after a tit fuck, not because of the act itself but because she told me just how much it turns her on to be used in that way. Knowing it turns her on and seeing the look in her eyes, mm, yeah, that does it for me.
So the face thing, no thanks.

It never came to my mind

Thu, 05/17/2012 - 04:17
ManCan1 (not verified)

It never came to my mind to ejaculate on a woman. What is so exciting? It is sticky and there is a characteristic smell associated with it, which is simply does not fit when wanting to have a good time with a partner. On top when considering all the mood change after ejaculating, clearly there is a problem, at least for me. I am feeling best when I am able to not to ejaculate, never go beyond the point of no return, yet being highly excited so the heart goes fast and my brain and body is feeling good.   
  

BorderRiver, I love

Thu, 05/17/2012 - 06:39

BorderRiver, I love performing oral sex on men. It's a real turn on for me. I enjoy it most when I want to do it though. Having my shoulders pushed down towards a mans crutch,or his penis shoved down my throat is degrading. Nor do I like being come on. Maybe it is my perception of it having seen it in porn but it doesn't make me feel sexy.

BorderRiver

Thu, 05/17/2012 - 15:48

My libido occassionally likes to see women humiliated and it turns me on to be humiliated too. It's all part of a healthy varied diet of consentual sex, sexual fantasy and role play, that's as different from real humiliation as a disaster movie is from a real disaster. 

Porn Is Sending The Wrong Signals

Miss Moonlight's picture
Thu, 05/17/2012 - 23:50

Not only does porn depict this as the norm it depicts it as something we should enjoy and get a lot out of.  It is sending the wrong signals.  And there is a lot of porn that does not show the man going down on the woman at all.  Instead it suggests that we should be satisfied with hard thrusting and then being covered in god know what.  Thanks a bunch!

Porn and 'facials'

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 12:56

I've had girlfriends who really enjoyed performing oral sex, and one who liked to swallow at times, too. This was always her choice, of course. I enjoy performing oral sex on my partners very much as well. But 'facials' always seemed like a pointless, commercial-porn thing to me. They've always seemed disrespectful to me---they remind me of a dog marking its territory. If a woman and her partner truly enjoy them, though, that's their business.

Further Comment

Miss Moonlight's picture
Sun, 05/20/2012 - 02:17

I agree with Patrick.  But to my mind there is a huge difference between being treated as a lamp post in dog like fashion and passionately taking someone in your mouth and swallowing their fluids which can be over so intimate.

oral is not humiliating

Sun, 05/20/2012 - 08:24

I don't find the act of a "facial" humiliating, but I don't really get why it's a turn on for some people. But that's the wonderful thing about sexuality, different things float different boats. As for BorderReiver's comments, giving a blow job does not have to be humiliating for a woman. The way it is depicted in porn sometimes looks humiliating, and I find that really distasteful, but as Betty says, porn is not sex ed. I really don't understand the porn that shows women gagging. What is appealing to anybody about gagging or seeing someone gag? 
There is nothing more erotic to me than using my tongue and lips to give my man pleasure, and I love it when he comes in my mouth. If someone tried to make me do it against my will, of course I would find that unacceptable.

Positions

Sun, 05/20/2012 - 11:55

When my girlfriend is on her knees giving me a blowjob (and that is, of course, only one of many positions for a blowjob), I do not feel powerful and dominant.  She is there voluntarily.  And it is a convenient position for a blowjob.  I feel very loving and intimate with her there, and she is showing me that she is wanting to give me pleasure (which she certainly does).
Likewise, when I am on my knees with my face and tongue on her pussy, I do not feel the least bit humuliated.  She is not trying to exhibit power over me, even when she holds my ears to guide me to where she wants me (which I thoroughly love), but she is enjoying the sensations that I am trying to provide to her.  I am enjoying the sensations that I am receiving, as well as those that I hope she is receiving.
As far as ejaculating on her, I do really enjoy that.  And no, I can't explain why.  It is obviously a visual thing, and I am very visual in sex.  I also love to come in her mouth, which obviously is not visual.  
Personally, I like to use all of the senses in sex, and that includes the smells and tastes.
I agree with Collette that everyone has different likes and dislikes.  The key, as always, is communication, and acceptance of what each is and is not comfortable with.  And being open minded and willing to try things is also important.  If you haven't tried something, you can't know for sure that you wouldn't like it.  I don't think that my girlfiend and I have ever asked to try something where the other refused.  Sometimes it takes a while to work up to it, and sometimes after we try it, we decide it is not for one or both of us.  But more times than not, we realize a wonderful new activity that gives us great pleasure.  But we always are willing to try things.

I think this is a case of to

Sun, 05/20/2012 - 17:43

I think this is a case of to each his/her own. I personally detest the gagging blow jobs as seen on porn and think facials are gross. But, if my husband accidently gave me a facial, he would freak out more than I would.

If it's degrading it is, otherwise it isn't

Tue, 05/22/2012 - 04:39
Tom Jones (not verified)
  • If a woman finds facials degrading, then it's degrading.
  • If a woman finds facials OK, then it's OK.

The same argument applies to everything, masturbation, sex, pornography... etc etc

I think that the reason why

Tue, 05/22/2012 - 04:54
Hibernia86 (not verified)

I think that the reason why "facials" are popular in porn is the idea that women like his seman so much that they wouldn't mind being covered in it. The idea is not "I think less of you" but rather "you like my seman so much that you just want it on you"
Now, obviously that isn't a fetish that most women have. And no man should do it to a woman who doesn't want it done. But I don't think it is fair to say that it is a humiliation tool (though I can understand how people might see it that way) when in reality I think that guys like it because it is a symbol of the women's attraction to them. I don't always find it attractive, and sometimes find it a turn off, but I don't find it automatically disrespectful to a woman unless you do it to someone who doesn't want to, but that is true for all sex acts.

How is this so taboo?

Amy Rene's picture
Mon, 11/17/2014 - 15:05

I happen to thoroughly enjoy giving my husband oral, it could probably be called my fetish. I love seeing him ejaculate and knowing I was the cause, it excites me to the point of climax at which time we climax together, and watching him ejaculate on my breasts pushes me that much further over the edge. I love it in any position but on my knees is my favorite. I know this is mostly due to my enjoyment of dominant men, i just cant fathom how anyone woman who enjoys men could be turned on by a passive man..but to each thier own and that's what makes sex so exciting. I'm just unsure why so many women frown upon this and I seriously take offense that people would lay judgements on me or anyone for what they enjoy.

All is acceptable if consentual

Mon, 02/09/2015 - 11:08
Butterman (not verified)

Long before I was even exposed to porn, in my first formative years of discovering masturbation, I have always wanted to ejaculate on my partner's body, principally due to the fact that I have always loved to watch. The fact that the male orgasm is often linked to ejaculation and thus is external as opposed to the generally internal female orgasm most probably does subconsciously influence men to enjoy watching sexual completion rather than simply allowing it to be felt. Pornography certainly used and abused (especially since the internet) the objectification and visualization of the male ejaculation since is was indeed visible and signified that the sex act onscreen was "real" (i.e. actually performed and not achieved trough special effects). Post 90s gonzo porn and the subsequent Y2K internet revolutions have transformed what once was something special to look for in porn releases into an everyday under-valued, under-appreciated, and over-exposed product. I make no excuses, as I am a self-proclaimed pervert and I am not particularly proud of enjoying external cumshots both as a turn on and as a porn preference. However I also suffer from a cum-sperm-ejaculation fetish which makes me unable to be objective on the subject but I will say this:
- no sexual act is "wrong" or "degrading" between consenting partners.
- I never force anyone to give me oral sex nor to take a facial or any other external cumshot if they don't want it.
- My wife enjoys oral sex, love to perform fellatio on me because I allow her to do what she wants as she wants it. So basically it's her show, it's like a gift to me and I am ecstatic just to be able to enjoy this.
- She not just doesn't mind external cumshots ,she even says she also enjoys them from time to time, but does not swallow sperm. I have never nor will I ever force her to swallow me, and so we have a great communication on that aspect.
I'd love to elaborate on my comment but I am not in the proper environment to formulate it nor to offer a proper explanation. So I shall finish with my motto: "Sex is Celebration Not Competition". So to each their own, and anything between consenting adults is fine for them!

It's a tremendous waste of

Tue, 02/10/2015 - 06:07

It's a tremendous waste of that hormone-laden cum to squirt it ON your lovers' body as opposed to inside them. My one consistent knock again modern porn has always been the unrealistic depiction of men pulling out to cum onto their partners. I understand the point of course, it's 'proof' of the man's fulfillment or something, but it's gone from that to a sexual act all its own. I love how it feels helping a boyfriend cum inside my mouth and ass, but am indifferent to on me. To me, it's depriving me of another 'dose' of that feel-good substance both tactilly and chemically. A woman's afaik lacks the feel-good component (or at least hasn't been studied yet like men's which seems plausible too.) But it still feels awesome squirting and gushing into my mouth and onto me. Maybe it's just knowing the composition of semen that has me preferring it inside me instead of onto me thus not wasting it. But a woman riding me on top and squirting (or even peeing, one of my kinks hehe) feels really good.

I don't agree with the 'it's an act of humiliation/domination.' Could apply that assertion to any sexual act. I think rather it's just something decades of it being depicted in porn has made common in m-f sex (like women shaving their pubic hair for reasons passing understanding.) And frankly, that's not so bad given STIs and unwanted pregnancies. Coitus interuptus for pleasure as it were instead of just family planning. To say it's humiliating implies there's something the person finds inherently unsavory about cum which in US culture is understandable, but at the same time shows how we're still quite immature about natural body processes and substances.

We are an older couple that

Mon, 02/06/2017 - 21:48
Old Lovers (not verified)

We are an older couple that enjoys mutual masturbation and its consummation in a variety of creative ways. Typically, we lie side by side and self-stimulate without touching each other. This gives us full personal control over our build-up and edging as we treat each other with visual and verbal effects that turn each other on as we delight in each other's self-stimulation. Depending on how we get worked up at different paces will prompt us to take ourselves over the top or help out each other to reach our O. My wife will sometimes join me as I self-stimulate and skillfully work massage my boys (I crave pretty rough play, and she's very deft at playing with them) and then she'll expertly, externally massage my prostate to squeeze out my semen from my prostate. Then as she brings me to the PONR, she clamps down hard on my urethra at the base of my penis in order to hold back my ejaculate. She absolutely delights in maximizing the force and volume of my ejaculate, positioning the head of my penis at an angle that directs ejaculate where she wants it to go. It may end up on her belly, on my belly, on her breasts and my chest, or sprayed all over us including some on our face. By letting her take control of where my ejaculate ends up, we find that the sharing of my ejaculate to be very erotic. We'll lay there or embrace, exhausted and satisfied with the warmth and mess and then clean-up when we're ready the cuddle and go to sleep.

Mutual Enjoyment

Mon, 02/06/2017 - 21:53
Old Lovers (not verified)

We are an older couple that enjoys mutual masturbation and its consummation in a variety of creative ways. Typically, we lie side by side and self-stimulate without touching each other. This gives us full personal control over our build-up and edging as we treat each other with visual and verbal effects that turn each other on as we delight in each other's self-stimulation. Depending on how we get worked up at different paces will prompt us to take ourselves over the top or help out each other to reach our O. My wife will sometimes join me as I self-stimulate and skillfully work massage my boys (I crave pretty rough play, and she's very deft at playing with them) and then she'll expertly, externally massage my prostate to squeeze out my semen from my prostate. Then as she brings me to the PONR, she clamps down hard on my urethra at the base of my penis in order to hold back my ejaculate. She absolutely delights in maximizing the force and volume of my ejaculate, positioning the head of my penis at an angle that directs ejaculate where she wants it to go. It may end up on her belly, on my belly, on her breasts and my chest, or sprayed all over us including some on our face. By letting her take control of where my ejaculate ends up, we find that the sharing of my ejaculate to be very erotic. We'll lay there or embrace, exhausted and satisfied with the warmth and mess and then clean-up when we're ready the cuddle and go to sleep.

I do not like to body.

Soda's picture
Wed, 10/11/2017 - 16:57

I really like to ejaculate in mouth or pussy. I do not like to body because there are lot of.


Source: Soda1 on Excite Pics

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