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Suddenly My Build-up Is Gone and It Doesn't Feel Good Anymore

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 20:16
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I was referred to you by a friend of my boyfriends after a conversation we had last week. I am 21 and i have been active for 3 years, and up until now i have not had sex with anyone who could even get me close to climax, nor have i done much self loving. Since me and my now BF have started having sex he hasnt gotten me close a few times, just as i have myself the few times ive been alone, but every single time the same thing happens to me when i think i reach climax. Suddenly all the tension building up in my body releases and everything happening feels really akward to me and i get sensitive but it doesnt feel good at all. What is causing this and how can i stop it so that i can actually finish my orgasm and come?

Dear B,

You need to read around the website and hear what I've said to other girls in your same situation. Most likely you are having small comes and due to your lack of masturbation and sex information along with the influence of porn, you have an exaggerated idea of what an orgasm is like. So you miss your small beginning orgasms. A hyper sensitive clitoris happens after we climax and we must stop all forms of stimulation. The other problem is leaving your sexual exploration up to your boyfriend who functions differently that you do. That will never work. It's up to you to practice self-stimulation until you uncover and then develop you own orgasms.

First Time Orgasm
http://www.dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm

Awakening Your Clitoris
http://www.dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2011/12/awakening-clitoris

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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no one seems to ever speak to

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 02:23
lsjb (not verified)

no one seems to ever speak to the relationship aspect -- so i will try
women often do not get off if they are not emotionally attached or attracted to their partners. i know this website suggests it is only about technique and anatomical awareness but i disagree. if you're a girl you might like to have a significant excitement about your partner. wow, who knew? before you just expect your parts to ignite maybe you could think about who you're with and why?
just sayin'

Sorry lsjb, You are living in the dark ages of female sexuality.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 22:12
Betty Dodson

In case you haven't heard, marriage and romantic love are no longer goals for young women. Just got the latest from Faith Popcorn and her predictions for 2012 will make your "lady bits" tremble. I'll blog on that tomorrow. She claims the "SHE CHANGE" is what society needs right now. Finally the nuclear family is being replaced by single mothers and stay-at-home dads while we quietly take over businesses. Then government. It's been a long time coming. . . .but it's soon to arrive.

My 2 cents

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 01:31
Heylin

Here's my relationship angle: I love my husband. In my mind we are best friends, business partners (the business is our family), and lovers. That being said, our emotional connectedness makes me more comfortable being myself and doing things to ensure my orgasms during partnersex but it's technique and my mindset that actually cause the orgasms. I don't know if I would be as comfortable with another partner(s) but I can't say that I wouldn't be or that I wouldn't have mindblowing or more awesome sex with a different partner.
I actually don't think that single motherhood is the best way just from the struggles I see single mothers go through. However I don't think the nuclear family is the be all, end all either. An extended family either through traditional means or other (poly family, network of friends) seems to offer more when dealing with raising a family.
However the original poster wasn't talking about raising a family, she was discussing orgasms. To that I say to each his/her own as long as it's consensual and between adults. Well, that and lots of self love!

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