Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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It was going on way too many months since I’d given myself a nice big yowling orgasm. This was especially serious since we recently filmed a Bodysex workshop and during the shoot, I was unable to come. I was so exhausted and stressed out I couldn’t get off so I finally just gave up. Worst of all was remembering that during past Bodysex workshops, my group orgasms were always some of my best.

I began to worry that my 83rd year might mark the end of those special nice big yowling orgasms. My long term colleague Grant was totally dedicated to the fine pursuit of masturbating while perusing Girlie Magazines until his 83rd year. That’s when he gave it all up because he was in constant pain living on Vicodin. The worst aspect of my situation was not related to my body, but it was making a mockery of my stand that masturbation would see me through old age. At this rate I was gonna be shit out of luck if I expected to make it into my nineties and beyond with any nice big yowling orgasms.

I will always cherish those first three lines in my article for Ms. Magazine: “Masturbation has been a continuous part of my sexlife since the age of five. It got me through childhood, puberty, romantic loves, marriage, and it will happily see me through old age.” Those same words were in my first self-published book, Liberating Masturbation (1974).

So when did old age with no big orgasms happen to me? When did I begin to feel too tired to do something that interested me? Ever since Carlin and I have been doing our YouTubes that have generated over 4 million followers so far, no one believes I’m as old as I am. I’m constantly being told I don’t look my age, but this doesn’t really help because I begin to question if I don’t look old, why do I feel old? On some days I feel down right ancient and fight to push myself out of bed. Instead of the usual, swinging my legs over the edge and bouncing up! Now I sit a moment on the edge of the bed to get my bearings.

Part of my struggle is overcoming the past 10 years with a live-in lover. That’s enough time to become a dependent person in several departments including domestically. To have a handsome young man as a full time assistant is similar to having a wife or a butler who manages everything. This included buying food, running errands, answering computer questions, ordering meals for delivery and most importantly, getting lids opened on jars and bottles. Just recently I loved the feeling of satisfaction when I called Time Warner and this Darling man talked me through the process of pushing all kinds of buttons until my TV came back on again. I did it all by myself.

The other night I was talking on the phone with my friend Stephanie Wadell. We’ve known each other since the 80’s. When I mentioned the fact that I felt like a fraud due to no masturbation for months, she gave me a great lecture. She was a surrogate partner in the Bay Area who segued into becoming a shaman and healer. Stephanie reminded me how important sexual energy is when it comes to keeping all bodily systems running smoothly. I sat there listening to her feeding back many of my talking points about the importance of masturbation and orgasms.

So this past weekend armed with her pep talk and my determination, I went online to porn sites looking for big black dicks about to be shoved into tiny little pink butty holes. Or even better was two big dicks being stuffed inside a skinny white chick who is obviously in serious discomfort. (So sue me!) Not watching the clips just perusing the images like Grant used to do. The moment I felt my clit twitch indicating blood was being pumped in, I turned off the computer and lay down on my bed with two vibrators, the Mystic and Magic Wand, a bottle of Almond oil plus my Obsidian black hand carved dildo made from volcanic glass. Me and the Hawaiian fire goddess Pele were about to get down and dirty.

I got to my first orgasm rather easily and while it was nice, it wasn’t the big O, so it was going to take another round. This time the fantasy was Daddy teaching me how to avoid letting a grown man’s dick enter my vagina. (Remember my favorite high school sex game was, “just put the tip in” that I played with my steady lover.) As the weight of the dildo sits on the opening of my vagina, I work my PC muscle. When I’d squeeze it tight, the dildo was trapped outside, but when I released the muscle, the tip would begin to slightly sink in but then get pushed back out again when I tightened the muscle.

You see where this is going. At one point, I am so turned on and my muscles are getting tired that I simply stop resisting. As the dildo sinks deep inside, it breaks loose a nice big yowling orgasm. The sounds were music to my ears, so familiar but absent for too long. As I kept the energy moving to soak up all the after shocks of pleasure, I heard me say, “Nice going Clitty Anne. You still got it old girl.”