Pushing Through The Fear of My Own Vulva

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 08:43
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi, Dr. Betty, it's me, M.

I noticed you posted my question on your site, and honestly, I'd asked the question so long ago I'd completely forgotten about it! Since July, I've done a lot of *ahem* self exploration, and my vulvular (is that even a word?) situation has improved. When I first asked that question I was scared to death of masturbation, mainly because of much disputed flaps and because I was so tight. In the past couple of months or so I've learned a lot about myself sexually and I finally figured, "Screw it, I'm horny and I want to masturbate, and being afraid of my vagina is not going to get me anywhere."

Thus, I started pulling apart the skin and getting in there to figure out what the hell's going on. While I haven't yet experienced an orgasm, I'm still working on it and am happy with where I am right now. When I first sent in the ask I was very insecure emotionally and about my body sexually, and I've come to terms with them both since then. I've attached some quick sketches I did of my vulva to illustrate what I was talking about. It's not 100% accurate, such as the space between my clit and urethra (the latter of which I denoted with a little V because I have a little extra skin there that looks like that, not because I think urethra's are shaped like Vs) is too close, my right labia minora is overly-exageratted, and the top "flaps" on the "Current" photo go up a bit too far; but the illustrations should be acceptable.

I know it's a bit moot to send this after so long, but I really wanted to clear it all up.
Thank you.

Dear M,

Just as long as you have identified your clitoris and are stimulating it with different techniques you will eventually have your orgasm. Check out my basic steps on "How to Orgasm" on the front page left hand column. Instead of vulvular simply saying vulva is better. Congratulations on pushing through your fear and reservations. I'm proud of you.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time