My Clitoris was Removed. Sex is Painful.

Mon, 11/14/2011 - 14:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Doctor Betty,

My name is H. and I live in the United States. I am of an African descent and as a young child, I was robbed of my sexual pleasures. My clitoris was cut off in the name of tradition and now that I'm older, I'm having problems with my sexuality. I have severe pains during intercourse and a very painful manstural cycle. I am very uncomfortable having sex because I don't want my boyfriend to find out. This is really interfering with my life and I was wondering whether you could help me, please. Thank you.

P.S. I heard about you from the clitoraid.org program.

Dear H,

You must discuss your situation with your boyfriend immediately. Trying to hide it only makes matters worse. If at all possible, I would recommend you see Dr. Marci Bowers who now practices in California. I'm sure some information about her is on the clitoraid site. If not just Google her name. She can get rid of scar tissue and if there is sufficient clitoral stem remaining, she pulls it forward which might result in your ability to feel some pleasure. For now you need to avoid pain, so after you explain your situation to your BF, I suggest you hold off on vaginal penetration. Instead enjoy giving him manual and oral sex. No man ever complained about that! Meanwhile stop suffering pain to please a man. It isn't worth it. Keep me posted on what you do. I would love to offer more help but alas, it's up to you to take care of yourself.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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H I think anyone who is told

Mon, 11/14/2011 - 16:33

H I think anyone who is told about your situation would melt with affection for you. Betty has some great advice. But when you see the Doctor Betty recomended and after you've discussed how to address or cure the cause of the pain  you could mention to her a discovery by one of my net buddies, who was accassionally orgasmic, and then she bought a vibrator and

Quote:
Nio wrote
I discovered I was able to send vibrations right down into the shaft and THAT was where the secret to my orgasms where. 
       
 
Stimulating the shaft of our main sex organ is what men do when we masturbate. We very rarely touch the tip of the penis. I think many men I know that are worth being with, after being told of your situation would want to help you anyway they could. Hope all this helps and big hugs.

H, I hope you find the path to pleasure

Mon, 11/14/2011 - 21:53

I've read Dr. Betty's post on Dr. Marci Bowers and hope you get to see her or another physician like her. Like Jake said, a lot of men would melt with affection for you and some would try to help you obtain pleasure for yourself. Please don't engage in activities that are painful for you and maybe you and your boyfriend can see what activities are fun for you. Best of luck in regaining the pleasure that should be your birthright.

One more thing to consider....

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 16:50
MissM (not verified)

H, you mentioned that your periods are very painful, as is having sex. One factor could be the presence of endometriosis, in addition to the trauma you've endured. I have endometriosis and for me, periods can be excruciatingly painful, as well as sex. I also have very heavy periods and pain throughout the month. It might be worth it to do a little research online. Dr David Redwine has an informative site and is progressive in his approach to treatments. Most ignorant physicians think a hysterectomy is a cure; as you read, you'll see why it doesn't work. I don't mean to place another problem on you, but you don't deserve to be in needless pain. Good luck and the very best of wishes to you!

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