Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I deal with your problem all the time and my answer begins with, “Accept her just the way she is.” Do not put any pressure on her to have sex. Other than cannabis, the only other drug that would create sexual desire in a woman would be to duplicate the early romantic phase of falling in love. However, I doubt the pharmaceutical companies will ever come up with a little pink pill that simulates Romantic Love. Believe me that would revitalize a woman’s sexual interest. That’s when we wanted to find our very own Mr. Right, fall in love, get married and settle down to raise a family. It was all so fanciful and theoretical with little to do with any reality.

First let’s look at the situation from your wife’s point of view. To begin with, she was raised quite differently than you. Her childhood masturbation was likely to have been prohibited while yours was ignored or even encouraged. Men have repressed and controlled women’s sexuality in societies the world over for millenniums. Here in America women as well as men are raised without any sex education and porn stands in for sex information. That’s a problem because porn is entertainment for men and has little to do with what a woman needs and wants. We also have a thriving sexual double standard. Many men still want their wives to be semi-virginal; a Madonna to raise their children, and a Whore in the bedroom. Combining those archetypes is quite impossible. Another disparity is that many husbands end up fooling around sexually while they expect their wives to remain monogamous. This is one more example of sexual inequality that keeps men’s interest in sex alive while women lose interest.

To add insult to female sexual repression, women don’t get equal pay for equal work, wives are not paid for their services, mothers are taken for granted and even sex professionals must work outside the law without any protection or benefits. Today most Moms work in and outside the home doing double duty. Yet when Dad comes home he sits down and watches TV while Mom fixes dinner. From a woman’s point of view, you might say men deserve ending up married to women who don’t like sex. Now it’s their turn to suffer through their later married years without partnersex. Okay, end of rant.

My advice to all Mr. Husbands begins by getting my book "Orgasms for Two." Read it and leave it on your side of the bed. Do not suggest she read it. Instead you might casually mention things you read in the book. If she seems interested, then by all means share parts of my book with her. Also consider getting the Magic Wand Vibrator as a body massager for yourself. The Wand brings a new supply of blood to any area it is applied. Again, leave it on your side of the bed. You use it but don’t ask her to use it. Be more attentive and tell her you love her just the way she is. Generosity, affection, acceptance and flattery will always reap many rewards.

Next get some Sliquids Organics Natural Lubricant from our sex shop. Then offer to give her a massage. The best way to learn about massage is to experience a professional giving you one. Make it clear that this massage will be without any sexual activity. After you have massaged her back and legs, ask her if she would like a vulva massage. Make it clear that you do not want her to respond sexually or have an orgasm. You want her to simply relax and enjoy herself. When she turns over, do not focus on her clitoris and do not penetrate her vagina. Don’t avoid her sex organ but pass over it just like it’s another body part. The same goes for her breasts. They are just another body part. After her entire body has been covered with Honey Girl, then give her a sweet kiss, cover her with a warm blanket and leave the room.

Instead of complaining you must become proactive. To reduce sexual frustration, enhance your own masturbation skills. Consider getting the Fleshlight. I’m told it feels just like a real vagina. Also you might try the Aneros so you can explore anal play that will massage your prostate for health and greatly enhance your selfloving orgasms. Sexual pleasure is contagious. If you start with yourself maybe your wife will catch some interest in having a little sexual pleasure too. I’m rooting for you.