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I Can't Penetrate My Vagina...It's Too Tight

Thu, 09/02/2010 - 14:48
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I fear that I am grossly misinformed about my body and perhaps the female anatomy in general, but alas, I think I'll ask my question anyway. At the age of 19, I've decided that it's time for me to penetrate my vagina, but for some reason, I can't get the little bugger open! I've been following your instructions--playing with myself, taking my time, exploring my nether regions--but it hasn't been working. As you can imagine, this is seriously frustrating!

I've been actively trying to penetrate my vagina for about two months now, and I can only get one finger in. I've tried pre-orgasm and post-orgasm. I've masturbated with just my hand, my vibe, and even porn. Nothing gets me excited enough to comfortably insert a few fingers, let alone an actual penis.

I enjoy masturbating, so I don't think I've pressured myself too much to make penetration uncomfortable. Could I possibly have one of those weird, tight vaginas that need surgery to remove the hymen? Is my hymen what's

preventing me from penetrating myself? Would using tampons help loosen up my clenched-up puss (again, my ignorance about the female body is probably glaringly obvious here)?

So Dr. Betty, please help me out! I'm just a sex positive, virgin, teen feminist trying to enjoy herself. Any advice would be great.

Thanks,

KC

PS: Please don't let my comic tone fool you, this is a real letter!!! I'm not some conservative goon trying to trick you or anything...

Dear K,

You are indeed a sex positive virgin teen and I applaud your intelligence. Please do no put yourself down for having this difficultly or blaming yourself. I'd give myself a little more time doing just what you have been doing. Perhaps it will help if you add your PC muscle in the penetration process. Information on how to locate and work the muscle is under Betty's Vaginal Barbell. In fact, it's a good beginners dildo. The weight keeps it in place while you masturbate.

If after another couple of months with little to no progress, then I'd suggest you see your health care provider. Have her check on your hymen to see if you might need help in opening it up. Meanwhile, don't forget to enjoy the good sensations you get from your selfloving orgasms. And promise me you will stop being so hard on yourself. You are way ahead of where most teens are today.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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vaginal tightness

Wed, 09/15/2010 - 21:23
AAA (not verified)

Sorry Betty, on this issue I didn't find this or your vaginal barbell advice at all useful. I am 26 years old and have global vaginismus, that means my pelvic floor muscles are clamped shut, all the time, and nothing can penetrate my vagina, not even a tampon. I found the only website that really helped was www.vaginismus-awareness-network.org/, for information on causes, and how it can affect your relationships (if at all - I personally dont see it as a barrier to a fulfilling sex life). I am working through treatment using a dilation kit, but also accompanied by a very supportive homeopathic doctor who is prescribing me treatment for anxiety and stress. The approach to treating vaginal clamping needs to be holistic, and fit in with your personality and personal needs. Moving straight to trying penetration might not be the best idea, it has taken me 3 years since realising I have vag. to move on to that stage.

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