Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Hello, my boyfriend just broke up with me saying that I gave him herpes, even though I've never been tested (I'm 21) and have never had any of the described symptoms. After a few months (september to february) of having sex with him (oral and vaginal). the question came up if I had been tested and at the time I hadn't but said yes and that I was clean. No questions were asked if he had been tested, though he claimed to have had sex with a few other girls before me.

At the end of this past may, he left for his home in British Columbia and just an hour or two ago I got off the phone with him being very angry and accusatory of me having given him a condition that he assumes to be herpes and is awaiting the results. He also mentioned wanting to seek legal action if I had indeed given it to him and lied about getting a test. But the point still stands that from september till february we had frequent sexual engagements with little protection used and with consent on both sides as to the protection situation. He said the "condition" appeared a few weeks after he had left and then went away after a few months.

My older sister has been found to have contracted genital herpes during a visit to europe and my boyfriend said that I probably got it from her and gave it to him. My sister's condition is well known to my family and great pains are made in avoiding the spreading of it via towels and such so that the possibility of me getting it from her are pretty remote. What if any legal action could he really take? I am planning to get tested as soon as possible and I'm pretty shaken up and scared. Wouldnt it be just as much his own fault if he got it after months of no communication on the subject and still aggreeing to not using a condom? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Dear J,

Not to worry. It would be his word against yours so he's just being a jerk about seeking legal action. Herpes is so common these days it's like the common cold. And you can get it without having sexual contact. You don't even know what he has yet until he gets tested. So relax. Be glad he's moved and out of your life.

Dr. Betty