Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Dr. Betty-

I know its a common problem, but my boyfriend just can't get me to orgasm. We have great sex, and foreplay and all that fun stuff. And it is fun! He goes down on me quite a lot- I'm one of the lucky ones who found a guy that genuinely enjoys going down on a women. But he still can't make me orgasm. Its getting very frustrating for both of us. He's never had this problem before, so I feel like I'm broken in some way. He's 26, and I'm 18. I know that younger women are less likely to orgasm, but when I masterbate I can generally pleasure myself alright. Do you have any advice, we're just so frustrated. He wants me to feel as good as he does when we make love, and I hate feeling broken. Please help!

Dear S,

The only thing that's broken is the expectation of having your boyfriend "make" you come. Why don't you stimulate your clitoris the same as you do when you're masturbating while he's penetrating you? Get my book "Orgasms for Two." Until you figure this out, just enjoy the good feelings. Each of you is responsible for your own orgasms. Remember that women and men respond very differently when it comes to sex. Tell him to relax his ego and re-assure him that you feel just fine with the sex you are sharing because it's fun. He is more broken than you are so pat him on the head and tell him it's your orgasm not his.

Dr. Betty