Annoyed & Ashamed I Gave in to Pressure From the Porn Industry & Didn't Have the Strength to Love My Body

Sun, 07/25/2010 - 10:40
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Submitted by Ashamed:

I did it myself (labiaplasty). Very dangerous and painful and I can hardly type this for feeling sick thinking about it. Sorry if this grosses anyone out.

I could not afford to pay for it and my doctor laughed dismissively when I asked about paying via insurance. This was after I finally managed to pluck up the courage to ask. After being obsessed and hating the way my vulva looked for years I did some research and got some equipment and "trimmed". I would not recommend this to anyone else as I had a very scary bad time trying to stop the bleeding and was very lucky things healed without infection or loss of feeling or other dangerous complications like life threatening thrombosis or bleeding to death!

Now the shame I felt before about my vagina not being pretty enough and thinking my inner lips and hood were too big through masturbating has been replaced with shame about the scars and worry about how I would explain them to a lover without being thought crazy and him running a mile in the opposite direction. Also annoyed and a bit ashamed now that I gave in to pressure from the porn industry and did not have the strength to love my body the way it was. I will have to try to get over all that now.

I hope that people like you and like the woman who made the documentary make it acceptable and allowable or even fashionable for women to have and be proud of having voluptious bits. I will be unfashionable as I now have smaller scarred bits. I think even if it had been done by a surgeon there would be scarring and long lasting stitch marks and adhesions. So if anyone out there is thinking of doing this PLEASE DONT.

Wish you had your genital gallery back as I think sites like yours that let us see that we are "normal" could help save women from mutilating themselves by themselves or with the help of plastic surgeons and maybe even save lives. What idiot stopped you but allows porn sites to make money off creating and then feeding appetites for women who look like little girls or Barbies.

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Why do something so drastic

Sun, 07/25/2010 - 21:49
Christina Cicchelli (not verified)

Why do something so drastic based on a myth? Girlfriend, the porn industry didn't pressure you to get a labiaplasty. The truth is that out of the thousands of porn actresses, there are only a small few who choose to get it done... because they see the adult industry as their career! Also remember that photoshop is used often to alter the look of pussies. It's not fair, but it isn't smart or even rational for anyone to use any facet of the entertainment industry (be it porn, video games, etc) to draw some sort of truth about the world or about themselves. That, as you've proved, is dangerous.

I personally suggest you talk to a professional therapist; to go through such extreme means of surgery warrants some deeper introspection. And you're right: No one should take any image they see (especially women since we're image obsessed) and use that to dictate how they should look. Be grateful and proud that you have such a beautiful, one-of-a-kind body. And for God's sakes ladies take care of it; nothing's worth fucking up the only thing you can rely on.

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures" - Oscar Wilde

www.afantasticnightmare.com

Some Reasons to Not Have Clitoral Hood or Labia Minora Reduced

Tue, 07/27/2010 - 07:59
SandraT (not verified)

Any woman considering clitoral hood or labia reduction should be aware that the tissues of these parts of the body, along with the lining of the vagina, grow and become more plump and elastic as a response to increased oestrogen in the female body after puberty and can shrink or atrophy after the menopause. Also the size can increases at times in the monthly cycle as a response to increased female hormones and of course the size can increase significantly as part of sexual arousal.
Therefore it seems it is more, rather than less, feminine and womanly to have more soft plump flesh in this area. Perhpas a result of labioplasty or hood reduction would be a very exposed clitoris and overly tight labia minora which might bring discomfort post menopause.

My labia makes me happy. I

Thu, 07/29/2010 - 09:14
lady lips (not verified)

My labia makes me happy.
I was concerned about them once, when they opened up like a fleshy orchid upon my maturation. I ignored them at first, then got a bit annoyed at them (and my one slightly uneven breast) for not being symmetrical, when I found this site.

I took the time to relax and take a good hard look at them, and noticed the delicate textures and gentle folds of my own body, and was delighted! Like a seashell and a flower, it curled and rested prettily in between my legs below a small forest of pubic hair. I came to understand we are not perfect plastic people, and we all grow hair and have imperfections.

Outrageous

Sat, 10/30/2010 - 18:37
ella_k

I have to say that this story made me cringe and I find what you did to be very disturbing. I, like you and most women, have body issues. I can go from my head to my toes and not find one thing about myself that I find beautiful. I cry about it more than I care to admit. I have been thinking about surgery to make my breasts symmetrical, areolas smaller, butt bigger, arms thinner, nose smaller, lips bigger, and clitoral hood smaller. I don't have the money or the guts to actually do any of it. I think it must take a serious mental problem to make a person perform at home cosmetic surgery. I consider myself to be pretty messed up even though I would never do such a thing. Considering almost every time I read Eric's "erotica" on here I start crying, there is obviously a problem. When he describes his partners' perfect breasts, little waist, big curves and, of course, vaginal or even anal orgasms, I remind myself how I look and get further from healing and loving my body and sexuality. The truth is that there will always be women out there you will think are prettier than you are. They may even agree. The porn world won't change and neither will conceited people who get off on making others jealous. It's up to you and all of us as individuals to ignore the bullshit, the haters, and Eric's posts. Look at women like yourself and surround yourself with images that make you feel beautiful. Inspire other women to feel the same way.

Dont let these other abrasive

Fri, 11/21/2014 - 21:18
k (not verified)

Dont let these other abrasive women make you feel worse about what you went through. I expressed something similar happening to me on this website and mostly got responses like, "well, you should have realized"... or, "Why didn't you know any better?" What a great place to come to for support, huh? The point is, I didn't know better. Thats why I posed questions hoping to get some responses that might relate to me or at least wouldnt make me feel so badly about what had happened. And yes, if I could turn back time, I would perhaps erase the things I have done and have had to go through prior to and as a result of. But I cant. They have happened. I realize this was 4 years ago, but I hope you're doing better nowadays, and have come to love the body that you CURRENTLY reside in <3