Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I am a 27 year old women that's been in a monogamous relationship for 10 years. I have 2 children and I have my tubes tied. For the past 5 years now I have had sexual urges that I can't explain. I have always enjoyed sex, for a women in today's society a little more then most. I have noticed 3 days before my Diva Week starts and about 1 week after I am as Horny as a 16 year old boy.

I want to fuck, not make love, just fuck whatever I can get my hands on. I have noticed my sexual appetite has changed also. I want my hair pulled, I want my ass slapped, and over the top positions (hanging off the bed upside down). I also have a desire to watch bi or female on female porn. More then usually. Still I have not acted on my urges. No I am not getting enough in the bedroom through partner sex, but I do orgasm during intercourse once every 2 weeks when he's in the mood. He's 32. He won't pull my hair, he won't slap my ass, or do anything that involves oral and toys. His excuse is "I respect you to much for that sluty stuff".

I have to masturbate everyday to release. It's like I am self medicating my body with orgasms, but I want someone to orgasm with me to dominate me. I am tired of teaching I want to be taught. I am not on any medication, no hormones, no anti-depressants, and no birth control; I don't take anything except for the occasional OTC pain killer.

I don't do drugs and don't smoke pot that would make it worse. It's becoming so bad that I can't focus. I know we need to orgasm but EVERYDAY. It's like I take time to have the big O before I can start my day or just relax. I've started talking to other men online (Just talking no phone sex yet), doing a little sexting. I don't feel it's right to cheat, but you can only tell your partner what you want so many times and get "NO" EVERY SINGLE TIME. I need more fucking NO LOVE I want a Hookup and I want it now. I have been offered "Just Sex" from a few MARRIED men, but I feel that could get complicated. How can I redirect my attention from my clit to anything else . I stared selling sex toys (Home Parties) just to support and supply my sexual urges. Plus I am a toy tester and do write reviews. But it's not helping. I need more. So for my age is it normal for me to feel this way? Or am I the female Tiger Woods and Addicted to Sex?

Dear H,

Starting at the bottom, I don't believe in the concept of sex addiction. That just means a person with a big sexual appetite. And when it comes to sexual activity, I don't deal with what's "normal" but what a person chooses. As long as it's consensual go for it! So from where I sit, you sound like a young healthy 27 year old woman with a strong sexual appetite. Maybe part of your virility is the result of not taking hormones, drugs or birth control pills. Congratulations!

For those of us who really love sex, trying to fit into a culture that makes a big effort to distract us from bodily pleasures is no easy thing. But it can be done. You have already found several solutions; sex toys, selling them, reviewing them and your personal masturbation plus two vaginal orgasms a month. I'd say that's pretty good for a mom raising two kids.

All the other things you mentioned will resonate with many other horny women who want to get fucked good and hard. I felt like that too after a sexual dry spell. But after a couple of hair pulling, pounding, sweaty hard fucks, I felt sore the following day. When the extreme hornyness passed, I was back to slow and easy. However, that's not to say that variety is the spice of life. Just take your time to figure out how to satisfy your desires. Be smart about it and play safe. Married men were my favorite back in the day. They already had a relationship so we simply shared sex for fun.

Dr. Betty