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Boyfriend Can't Ejaculate Inside Me

Tue, 03/09/2010 - 23:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr's Betty and Carlin

I've been with my first boyfriend for about five months now, and we're having a great time together. We've been intimate pretty much since the beginning of our relationship, and I've since come to realize how much I like sex! I have no trouble coming, but he does. We've had success with masturbation and oral, but he has a hard time ejaculating inside me. We've tried talking about it, but we haven't really come up with a solution. I'm not trying to get pregnant or anything, but it'd be nice to not be the only one having an orgasm in bed. Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Dear S,

I used to long for a boyfriend who had delayed ejaculation. That way we could have sex far longer and there would be no worry about getting pregnant or having a smelly pussy later (depending upon the ejaculate) or semen running down my leg later on. The more you focus on this issue the more entrenched it will become. Why does it matter how he has his orgasm? The same as I tell women with delayed orgasm problems, when he goes soft and she still wants more, share a dildo and masturbate for her orgasm. Why can't you enjoy your orgasm and when he wants to come either one of you do manual sex or you could finish him off with oral sex. We need to expand the ways for couples to enjoy partnersex and stop being hooked on penis/vagina intercourse as the be all of heterosexuality. Even if you ever did want to get pregnant, there are many ways to do this without him ejaculating inside your vagina. Be more creative.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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this may sound strange but

Wed, 03/10/2010 - 00:29
Anonymous5 (not verified)

this may sound strange but with my current partner, who i have been with about 6 years, he mostly, i would say 99% of the time comes in my mouth. i love giving blow jobs. and i really don't like when guys come inside my pussy. i think that's gross-which i'm sure is almost the opposite of what most of the reader's here believe. at least when you swallow, it's gone and not sticking around-if you know what i mean. i love his penis-it's hard and a good size for me. i have pretty much always swallowed and since i started giving blow jobs, i have loved it. and i'm great at it.

Not strange at all!

Wed, 03/10/2010 - 20:33
laurakate

I would say 99% of the time I have my current boyfriend and the past three boyfriends pull out and cum either in my mouth or if I'm really feeling naughty I would let them shoot on my face and in my mouth. Personally I like the taste of cum. I didn't like it so much the first few year of engaging in sexual activity, but as I got older or more confident I would often ask the guy to cum in my mouth. I found that this was a real turn on to most if not all of the guys. There's something very taboo and dirty about it. This can be a lot of fun if you relax and let it be. Remember, it's just cum and it washes off, or you can swallow it. (by the way, it doesn't taste as bad as a lot of women say) I would always get excited the first time I did it with a guy and he would pull out. That couple of second before he shoots was very exciting! I would wonder how much cum he'll shoot and if he will shoot it very far. I'm very intrigued by the sight of cum squirting out of a penis!

Manual stimulation, oral sex and swallowing cum is heavenly!

Wed, 03/10/2010 - 22:05
tinyclit

My husband is exactly the same way, he cannot cum or orgasm from penetration type sex.  It does absolutely nothing for him.  It doesn't do anything for me either.  We both enjoy manual stimulation and oral sex. I don't know how some people can do 69 because I find it impossible to concentrate that way.   He does me in the evening and I do him in the morning.  That works best for us.  Back when we were first married I liked him to cum on my face, but he was doing that just because I liked it.  Looking back now it beats me why I liked that so much, it was a pain to clean off after, he was a bad aim and cum in your eyes hurts like heck.  In any case, I soon found out what he really needed.   Sex is mental, not just physical.  I've found that the key to making him orgasm is for me to be positive, eager and enthusiastic.  If I'm not enjoying myself, he can't and won't orgasm.  The only way he can have an orgasm is by stroking his penis, cumming into my mouth, watching me swallow his cum and knowing that I love it.  Then he has an orgasm and how!  I like to lick his penis clean while he's having his orgasm.  I used to think this was some sort of exotic kinky thing, but I've since found out that it's pretty common, which was a bit of a let down.  As for the taste of cum, it's a total non-issue.  It's an acquired taste that doesn't take long to acquire, that's for sure.

My bf was the same

Thu, 03/11/2010 - 20:08
MurasakiMaiden (not verified)

My boyfriend who I've been with for 2 years now had delayed ejaculation for the first 4-6 months we were together. 75% of the time it was fine; we'd have long, fulfilling sex (oral/penetration/masturbation) together and stop when I was done. Orgasm was usually guaranteed by oral/handjobs but hit or miss when he was inside me.

However the other 25% of the time I wished he could come from penetration and in a timely fashion, the long sex sessions sometimes made me sore and sometimes I was just too lazy to jerk/suck him off. I wanted the closeness of some simple, lazy, penetrative sex with mutual orgasms. So I sympathise with your problem.

The best thing I can recommend is not to mention the issue to him, and don't feel it reflects badly on you/your pussy! I think my guy was just still holding back a tiny bit in his head, it took time for him to completely let go.

It will all cum with time!

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