Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

Truthout's piece on child beauty pageants brought back a painful memory from childhood.  Mother was nearly perfect except the time she entered me in a beauty contest when I was five. I wore a two piece bathing suit with a BIG bow on top of my Shirley Temple sausage curls. Mother rehearsed me to walk up to the front of the stage, put my hand on my hip and say, "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"

I was the sweet little girl on the Good Ship Lollypop combined with Mae West, the most brazen outspoken sexual woman of her time. On the day of the contest I was running a fever but determined to follow through. When I saw the bright lights at the edge of the stage, I simply walked straight across and never once looked at the audience. Later Mother said, "Never mind Betty Anne, everyone could see you were the cutest little girl there."

Later on when my second teeth came in crooked, I knew I'd never be able to make it on looks alone. Nothing left for a loser like me but to become a famous artist. From then on, I was never able to enjoy my individual good looks so I searched for beauty in my art. I could have done both but the experience of losing damaged my self-esteem. I went through most of my life with a damn inferiority complex. It was Mother's dream to be on stage not mine.