Betty Dodson's blog

Awakening the Clitoris

Thu, 12/29/2011 - 12:52
Submitted by Betty Dodson

After hearing countless sex histories from girls and women over the past four decades, I believe sexual repression begins the moment a parent or caregiver punishes a child’s natural curiosity for touching their own sex organs.

Society needs to understand that the health of each person’s sexlife rests upon childhood masturbation— the foundation upon which all of human sexuality is based. It’s very consistent that each client I see struggling with orgasms as an adult has no memory of masturbating in childhood or in their teens. The absence of this natural self-exploration interferes with the development of nerve pathways that carry positive sensations from our genitals to the pleasure center in the brain. This blocks or slows down the development of sexual release with orgasm.

Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique

Sun, 05/16/2010 - 17:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Over the years, one frequently asked question comes from women and a few men who are unable to incorporate their current method of masturbation into partnersex.

Many have carried the same pattern of childhood masturbation over into adulthood and it's now the only way they can get off. Some are stimulating their genitals with one or both hands pressed between legs that are tightly squeezed together while lying face down on their tummies- not conducive to sharing orgasms with another person. Others are humping folded blankets, wooden floors, riding the arm of an overstuffed chair or pressing against hard counter tops.

Had a Labial Cyst Removed. Will My Vulva Be Normal Again?

Sun, 03/25/2018 - 08:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I've recently had surgery to remove a labial cyst (2nd time, first time was unsuccessful) I'm worried about the healing.. My physician opted to remove the cyst and the wall surrounding - which has ended up being the back third around my vaginal entrance..

Apart from it looking a tad strange due to quite a large chunk being missing I'm worried about how it's healing.. I got an infection and a course of antibiotics to combat this which has cleared it up but I looked in a mirror today and where part of the incision was made it doesn't seem to have healed correctly.

Her Clit Cannot Be Touched

Tue, 03/13/2018 - 15:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

My wife has given me a mission - to find out of there is a solution to her problem: her skin is super sensitive to touch (anywhere on her body), to heat (her skin literally bubbles), and to cold (breaks out in rash).

Our sexual dilemma is this: her clit cannot be touched, either by me, or by herself. She said touching it is like sticking your finger in an electric socket. She also cannot be fingered, nor can she have dildos or vibrators inserted. No latex condoms. She once tried a Brazilian wax, and swelled up for days (she had to go to her doctor).

Feel Like My Clitoris is Getting Smaller

Fri, 03/02/2018 - 14:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello,

I am 42 and have noticed that for a little over a year now, it feels as though my clitoris is shrinking. I have a long history of yeast infections and one or two cases of Bacterial Vaginosis, so I tried using Vagisil for a few months. This is around the time that I noticed the weird sensation of my clitoris getting smaller. I am able to masterbate using a vibrator and lube, but I do notice a bit of a 'zinging' sensation afterwards.

Aside from that, my biggest complaint is that I have a hard time keeping the clitoral hood clean. When I try to pull it back to gently wash, the labia feels very uncomfortable and the clitoris is so tender that it's almost painful to try.

Post-Abuse My Vagina is Chronically Tight & Dry

Tue, 02/13/2018 - 08:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

As a child and early teen I experienced sexual force by an adult repeatedly. I would squeeze my vagina very tight to prevent penetration. It only angered the adult and ultimately did not prevent him.

As a result when I finally had sex with my someone in my age group as a young adult I cried. Many years later with grown children and I'm menopausal now I find if I am not active my vagina closes up. I have a partner now and after a long time of celibacy he re-opened me and it was very painful.

How Can I Manage My Jealousy?

Fri, 02/02/2018 - 09:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

First, thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with us. It's been a live changing for me since I discover I had "small" orgasms and kept developing them.

Now I got a question about something that is killing my loving relationships. I have this horrible tendency to get "over jealous" when I think my partners are fantasising with someone else. Once my partner told me he finds "wonder woman" hot before going to see the movie. I got so "jealous" on thinking he is fantasising having sex with her (instead of me) so I didn’t want to watch the movie.

I Feel Pleasure Waves But No Orgasm

Thu, 01/25/2018 - 07:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello dr. Betty,

So first I will explain a little bit of my background story to help you understand my situation better. I am 27 years old, and I’ve been with my only boyfriend (very recently my now husband) since we were both 17. We decided to wait until marriage to have intercourse...we grew up with christian beliefs and I have a very strong mother. I believed it was the best thing to do so we married virgins.

I Get Aroused Without Touching My Genitals Due to PGAD

Fri, 01/05/2018 - 15:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Have you heard of a condition called PGAD (persistant genital arousal disorder)? I am in physical therapy for this and I feel like a freak.

I do not know anyone nor have i ever heard of anyone afflicted with this. However, the one good thing I have gained from having this is the relationship i needed to form with myself. I know every part of myself so well. I know all my pleasure spots and have to spend extra time with myself. I was diagnosed with this about five years ago and I have since learned to accept it but the shame is still there because most of the time I am the only one doctors have ever met and some doctors just think im a nymphomaniac.

Deep Penetration Hurts After First Child

Wed, 12/20/2017 - 13:51
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

I am a in my early 30's and have very little interest in sex. My husband is a sex addict and we are always butting heads.

Sex is great when we have time but I still have issues. Most of the concern is deep penetration. It hurts like hell and it really stops me from focusing on my orgasm. It feels like a very strong pinch.

This has been going on since I had my first child. I was fine before then. Can you please help me figure this out?

I

Dear I,

When some aspect of penetration sex is painful, don't do it. Instead give him a blow job or manual sex instead.

Deep penetration that hurts means you are doing something wrong. Until you figure this out, do oral or manual.

Is He Pretending to be Heterosexual?

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 08:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

hi Dr. Betty :)

Thank you, because you helped me through your website, a lot in exploring my sexuality while being in a very conservative society.

I have a question concerning my fiancee, my future husband, as our marriage is approaching, I began to discuss sex with him, and to try flirting, to see how the chemistry will be between us. He told me something really strange: the first porn movie he saw, it was by mistake on his friend's laptop, it was featuring a woman masturbating and stripping, he told me that this scene made him "vomit"!

I Don't Feel Sexual Attraction When I See People

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 08:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I'm 26-year-old, and English is not my mother tongue, so forgive me for any mistakes in writing

I am writing you because I have a problem that I don't know how to identify and I don't know how to solve.

Puzzle's pieces (it took me one hour to finish this!)

1) I don't feel "sexual attraction" when I see people - men or women - I don't find them sexually attractive, some people are aesthetically more (physically or mentally) beautiful than others, and I'm able to fell in love (once in 1'000 years), with "butterflies in my stomach" and so on, but it's all here. No "sexual attraction". No desire. Nothing.

You're an Inspiration to Me as a Young Woman, a Sexual Being, & One Day a Mother

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I wanted to send you a note of thanks, but first let me give you some context.

I am the oldest of three daughters, who grew up in a home where our parents did not discuss sex. As a gifted individual, I was happy to learn of this topic on my own. At age 11, I began watching the fabulous videos made by you and Carlin.

You have both talked me through many first experiences before they were even a possibility. You've given me a confidence to advocate for myself and my pleasure. What's more, I now find myself encouraging my peers and others to advocate for themselves as well. I am saddened to find that too many of my 20-something year old friends are limited to the pleasure they receive from their partners, if there is any at all.

If I Met Him in a Fetish Club, Does He Have a STD?

Thu, 11/02/2017 - 15:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

First, thank you. You have helped me so much over the years.

I am 30. I am in a situation in which I have no idea what to do. I started seeing this guy a couple of months ago, and the sex is amazing. We connect on so many levels, though he has not verbally 'locked it down' into a monogamous relationship. I am traveling right now, and went to a fetish club. Wow. I met a man there and we danced. There was a lot of kissing and intimate touching. I felt something special and I am drawn in. He has offered to meet in private before I go. My first thought was 'yes', but then my friend told me how dangerous this is because he goes to fetish clubs and probably has an STD. Is this true, or stigmatizing a community?

Is It Too Late to Change My Masturbation Technique?

Wed, 10/25/2017 - 13:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am so frustrated. I am 19 yrs old and can only orgasm the way i did as a child.

I am used to hump on something (a towel) lying face-down. I recently got a boyfriend, and we started having sex 3 months ago. I can't orgasm from the penis inside of me, and i can't orgasm when he fingers me and touches my clit, because I'm used to laying face down humping on something. I would like to get an orgasm laying on my back touching my clit, like you did on the NRK show. I have tried this for 2 months but it never works. Is it too late for me to change my pattern? This is almost making me depressed.