Betty Dodson's blog

Awakening the Clitoris

Thu, 12/29/2011 - 12:52
Submitted by Betty Dodson

After hearing countless sex histories from girls and women over the past four decades, I believe sexual repression begins the moment a parent or caregiver punishes a child’s natural curiosity for touching their own sex organs.

Society needs to understand that the health of each person’s sexlife rests upon childhood masturbation— the foundation upon which all of human sexuality is based. It’s very consistent that each client I see struggling with orgasms as an adult has no memory of masturbating in childhood or in their teens. The absence of this natural self-exploration interferes with the development of nerve pathways that carry positive sensations from our genitals to the pleasure center in the brain. This blocks or slows down the development of sexual release with orgasm.

Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique

Sun, 05/16/2010 - 17:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Over the years, one frequently asked question comes from women and a few men who are unable to incorporate their current method of masturbation into partnersex.

Many have carried the same pattern of childhood masturbation over into adulthood and it's now the only way they can get off. Some are stimulating their genitals with one or both hands pressed between legs that are tightly squeezed together while lying face down on their tummies- not conducive to sharing orgasms with another person. Others are humping folded blankets, wooden floors, riding the arm of an overstuffed chair or pressing against hard counter tops.

You're an Inspiration to Me as a Young Woman, a Sexual Being, & One Day a Mother

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I wanted to send you a note of thanks, but first let me give you some context.

I am the oldest of three daughters, who grew up in a home where our parents did not discuss sex. As a gifted individual, I was happy to learn of this topic on my own. At age 11, I began watching the fabulous videos made by you and Carlin.

You have both talked me through many first experiences before they were even a possibility. You've given me a confidence to advocate for myself and my pleasure. What's more, I now find myself encouraging my peers and others to advocate for themselves as well. I am saddened to find that too many of my 20-something year old friends are limited to the pleasure they receive from their partners, if there is any at all.

If I Met Him in a Fetish Club, Does He Have a STD?

Thu, 11/02/2017 - 15:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

First, thank you. You have helped me so much over the years.

I am 30. I am in a situation in which I have no idea what to do. I started seeing this guy a couple of months ago, and the sex is amazing. We connect on so many levels, though he has not verbally 'locked it down' into a monogamous relationship. I am traveling right now, and went to a fetish club. Wow. I met a man there and we danced. There was a lot of kissing and intimate touching. I felt something special and I am drawn in. He has offered to meet in private before I go. My first thought was 'yes', but then my friend told me how dangerous this is because he goes to fetish clubs and probably has an STD. Is this true, or stigmatizing a community?

Is It Too Late to Change My Masturbation Technique?

Wed, 10/25/2017 - 13:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am so frustrated. I am 19 yrs old and can only orgasm the way i did as a child.

I am used to hump on something (a towel) lying face-down. I recently got a boyfriend, and we started having sex 3 months ago. I can't orgasm from the penis inside of me, and i can't orgasm when he fingers me and touches my clit, because I'm used to laying face down humping on something. I would like to get an orgasm laying on my back touching my clit, like you did on the NRK show. I have tried this for 2 months but it never works. Is it too late for me to change my pattern? This is almost making me depressed.

I Believe Sex is How People are Controlled Which Puts it at the Heart of Politics

Thu, 10/12/2017 - 08:34
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Betty self-portrait

One of the most challenging aspects of my life has been going public with what I believe to be true based on observation, experience and information from sources I trust. I’m not sure when living out loud became my passion. Perhaps the biggest influence was my mother who always said, “Betty Anne, never hesitate to speak your mind.” She was an example of doing just that. Often I’d be embarrassed when she’d say the unspeakable, like the time she told our overly religious neighbor Mrs. Wright the Bible was just a bunch of stories written by a lot of different men.

Did I Vibrate My Nerve Endings to Death?

Fri, 10/06/2017 - 07:39
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty

I'm hoping someone can give me advice about this.

I was a late bloomer to sex. I never explored down there until I got a vibrator randomly in college. The second time I used the vibrator I achieved orgasm. For a year or so, I continued to use the vibrator, each time having extremely intense full body orgasms-- cold feet followed by waves of warmth, many contractions. I felt like I knew my body like clockwork. I'm not sure what happened, but over the course of the following year my orgasms got shallower and shallower until I barely noticed them. (No, I was not on any medications that might have affected this.) . I'm not even sure if they were orgasms or just little waves of pleasure before orgasm.

How Do You Get Comfortable Having Sex When Battling Erection Issues?

Tue, 09/26/2017 - 06:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I won't take up too much of your time. I will try my best to present the point of me contacting you. I am 38, married man who has 2 children. My wife is 46. We are eight years apart in ages. Okay, now that we got that away, now comes the hardest part. I have spoken to a marriage counselor for sometime now. I've countless sexual "hang-ups", and was wondering, will they eventually leave? Whenever I viewed pornography, I would masturbate to the oral sex movies. I had at one time, preferred masturbating to actual sex. Because I’m a lousy lover.

Are Sleep Orgasms Normal?

Fri, 09/08/2017 - 15:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I am curious about the phenomenon of sleep orgasms.

I know they are normal but I am getting them once or twice every week or 2 weeks. I haven't masturbated for 3-4 months now and is this the reason why i am getting them? By masturbating, will that reduce the amount of sleep orgasms that i am getting since it may be the way of my body releasing the sexual desires? I have been masturbating since i was very young until now and i am healthy, non sexually active and 22 (female).

Since Menopause Sex Burns

Sun, 09/03/2017 - 07:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty

I have just finished reading an article in the July issue of Next magazine (New Zealand) about sex for the over 50's, and the article mentioned your website. I have been experiencing painful sex for the past 5 years, and so I jumped on to your website looking for a bit of help. I am writing now asking for help because I am getting desperate!

Did I Get Sexually Wild at 50?

Fri, 08/11/2017 - 07:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am an attractive professional woman who is a flight attendant for a well known Airline and just recently turned 50 and still have a sexy body and legs. MY husband and I have been married for 14 yrs with no kids and he works nights for an automotive company. We have ok sex regularly but I don't always have orgasms with him. My husband thinks old fashioned religious beliefs and would not approve of me masturbating.

Is It True Some Women Just Can't Orgasm?

Wed, 07/19/2017 - 07:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 22 years old and I'm not sure I've ever had an orgasm.

I'm originally from Eastern Europe, and had a religious upbringing. I remember being a preteen and asking my mother what sex was like, and she replied "not fun". I always felt guilty about having sexual thoughts, and didn't even allow myself to masturbate until I was 17. As of now I'm in a good relationship with a guy who makes me feel comfortable and I'm finally starting to enjoy sex. I've even found that anal play is a lot of fun!

But I don't come when I'm with my boyfriend, and it never happens when I'm alone either. I try to masturbate with a vibrator, feel like I'm getting into it, and then the feeling suddenly goes away.

I Don't Understand Why I Don't Like Being Touched

Wed, 07/12/2017 - 08:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I feel a bit abnormal for admitting this, but I have never liked being touched. Massages, pedicures, etc. are fine, but I don’t like hugs or kisses, even from my husband. When he touches me I stiffen up and feel very uncomfortable. In order to have sex I have to have at least a glass of wine to relax enough just to stand it.

Happy Independent Orgasm Day for All Women Everywhere

Tue, 07/04/2017 - 08:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Betty Dodson 1967

We had talked about it for several weeks, but still, it was intimidating to actually pull it off. Several big elements in my life had occurred that year; my seven year marriage had ended with a legal settlement that I would receive $500 a month for the first year, $400 the next and then 3, 2 and 1 hundred dollars respectfully for the final years. It was mutually agreed upon by both of us to ease me back into the commercial art world after painting full time in my studio.

At the end of the first year, I was informed there would be no more checks in the mail; he had lost his job, his former secretary was now pregnant and would be giving birth to their first child in eight months. We both got what we wanted; fatherhood for him and freedom for me.

Am I Less of a Woman Because Penetration is Painful?

Thu, 06/29/2017 - 08:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm 17 years old and I'm now in a committed relationship (of 2 years) to where I feel ready and comfortable enough to engage in sexual activities and I am dying to take it to the next level, penetration! I was super excited to try this with my girlfriend (and even a bit nervous of course).

We bought a strap-on and when the time came to do the do, it wouldn't go in! It was extremely painful, but we took our time and slowly got it not even half way in but I was determind to get this thing in me one way or another. As it went depper it was getting more and more painful and burning terribly, and all the while my girlfriend kept encouraging me to keep trying and that it was normal to be that painful the first time, but it just didnt feel right to me.