Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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i am female and i can cum in 10 to 15 seconds by masturbating. and it is a knee-buckling, full body orgasm--i am very lucky i know! i can do this up to a dozen times a day as well...was i male in a past life?!

the downside to this is that i rarely cum with a partner, and i need intense pressure to get there when i do, and it does take a long time. i'd gladly give up the record-breaking time in order to get better at orgasming in partner sex. any recommendations?

I've never taken 14 minutes (or even five to come while masturbating). I've used the rabbit (its not great, but it works) and a few other vibrators as well as my own fingers and I've come in maybe 2 minutes at most. With a partner, if I have clit stim I can usually come at least once in the first 2 minutes...by 10 I've come twice and in an hour or so I can come 5 maybe 6 times depending on the power (and stamina) of my partner. I've had vaginal and clitoral orgasms. I've never used your hitachi magic wand, although I am considering it...but I've used the German one and another one. Mostly I just need to fantasize about the last man I've had sex with...or rarely someone I want to have sex with...and sometimes nothing at all. I have always been able to do this...it took me a while to orgasm during sex, but it happened maybe on my third time...its a charm isn't it.

The two who've already responded to this - trust me, I don't think you're unusual. I asked two different bunches of ladies, whom I trust as pretty honest, on forums I regularly participate in, how long they took, and at 15-20 minutes and upwards I'm one of the longest. 2-5 minutes was about normal for most of them. I've also read this in books written by women.

It's not about keeping up with the guys. It's about the fact that a lot of other women clearly enjoy an ability I don't have, and I want to learn it because that way I'd enjoy a whole lot more orgasms than I now have time for. Why is that so wrong?

I'm with betty on this one - the fastest I can come is in 15 or so minutes, but I enjoy them way more when I've spent about 45 minutes on it. I've never come during partner sex though - and sometimes I think that its perhaps not the fact that we're not coming fast enough, its the fact that we're not coming at all, because either its all over once he finishes, or for other reasons entirely.

It's the same for me. It takes me time to come too. And during Partner Sex it takes a long time for me. I prefer coming through masterbation actually, I enjoy it a lot more.

The concept expressed in this podcast that women take a very long time to reach orgasm and that men are very quick takes the personal experiences of these two women and infers that they apply to all women and men. This is highly flawed. That said, I am not doubting that these were the experiences of these women, nor that other women may have shared a similar experience.

My personal experience is that my partner sometimes orgasms very quickly and powerfully. This can occur in as little as 5-10 seconds after penetration with maybe up to 5 min of foreplay (although this can be foreplay without any form of vaginal stimulation). Other times she takes much longer and on these occasions it may or may not be a very strong orgasm. My partner also frequently has multiple orgasms - typically if she orgasms quickly, she will orgasm often (ususually 2-3 times but sometimes many, many more).

I on the other hand, usually have difficulty in reaching orgasm, other than through masturbation I have never acheived an orgasm in less than 20 minutes and I typically require at least 40-60 minutes, sometimes longer or don't orgasm at all after 1-2 hours, even though I may want to - a far cry from the stereo type of men portrayed in this podcast.

The point is that not everyone is the same and it is not possible to neatly pigeonhole people based soley on their gender as has been done in this podcast. The irony is that in trying to dispel the notion that all women should be able to orgasm as quickly as men (a laudable goal), they have unnecessarily perpetuated other myths.

Ladies, If you are taking 20 to 30 minutes to orgasm, and some of you are holding out for a more intense feeling. You should consider your male partner here. When having sex, meaning the guy is trying to crack your safe or give you a orgasm, if it takes to long we preseve this as work not pleasure. If you want your sex life to continue and not fade away like most couples do you should consider buying and reading a good book on female orgasms. You will learn how to reach orgasms faster and stronger and you then can show him what you like and it will never become work for him and you both will live happy ever after.
Sex shouldn't be work. Did I mention that when a female cums it triggers her partner to cum. And it also can work the other way around ladies.