Blogs

I Need to Practice Delaying Ejaculation. Should I Cheat or Masturbate?

Thu, 12/29/2016 - 09:03
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

Throughout my 18 year marriage with my wife I've been a premature ejaculator (it's been really hard for both of us). The thing is is that I get turned on so quickly (every time I embrace my wife and give her a kiss there's a stirring in my pants - I never have a cuddle without becoming erect (and it's embarrassing to be honest - perhaps it would be less so if I could avoid cumming after 1 or 2 minutes inside her).

I have found that using a delay cream helps and makes sex last a lot longer and much more enjoyable.

At 16 She Drove Around the World in a Model-T Ford

Wed, 12/21/2016 - 11:26
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Aloha Wanderwell had an amazing life.  In 1919, at the age of 16, she answered an ad for a french speaking secretary posted by Mr. Wanderwell and drove around the world in a Model T Ford with a camera crew documenting it all. 

Of course, she ended up marrying Wanderwell and became a worldwide celebrity.  When you look at the pictures of Aloha, you know the type of young woman she was - a feminist, an adventurer, a lover of life.  When Wanderwell died, she continued her journeys with one of the cameramen and died at 90 in California. 

So glad I stumbled across her pics.  There are so many legendary women who have been ignored by history.  I'm adding Aloha to the list of women I'd like to go back in time and have a drink with, or maybe several.

Wife Feels It Takes Me Too Long to Ejaculate

Mon, 12/19/2016 - 08:59
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

Most of your readers complain about them or their men not lasting long enough to enjoy sex. My problem is just the opposite. I enjoy sex and want to enjoy it as long as I can. This means that I can stay erect and have sex for over an hour on average. This has become a problem as my wife feels I take too long.

She says that sex with me is hard work and take a lot of effort. In fact, I am the one doing all the hard work while she enjoys it with her head in the pillows. To please her I try to cum earlier but thats not easy for me and leaves me unsatisfied.

Can You help me figure out how I can finish quickly and enjoy sex at the same time. is there something wrong with me?

Thanks, R

Dear R,

Monogamy Killed Men's Penis Bone

Mon, 12/19/2016 - 08:53
Submitted by bila kolbe

Among the many popular names penned to the penis like dick, cock, dong, pecker, and schlong, one that sticks out is undoubtedly the term ‘boner’. Yep, once a flaccid penis gets engorged with blood and dramatically stiffens, the boner takes on the rigidity and feels nothing less than a good chunk of solid bone. However, there is no actual bone material found in its anatomy unless of course you are a male chimp, bear, gorilla, dog, sea lion, rabbit, mouse, or weasel to name a few of those that happen to be endowed with a penis bone called a baculum or os penis.

Sexualizing the Mother Child Bond

Fri, 12/16/2016 - 10:29
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Both of these images were posted online and got a slew of negative comments.  Apparently, breastfeeding your toddler as you prepare for your second birth and kissing her 4 year old son on the lips (thank you, Hillary Duff, for posting this picture) is offensive and sexually inappropriate. 

The bond between mothers and their children is so strong and so intimate.  When I breastfeed Grayson, we giggle, recite our new words, trace each other's ears and belly buttons.  In other words, we share tenderness and touch.  And, for the record, I kiss my son on the lips. 

I Feel Pleasure Then Nothing

Thu, 12/15/2016 - 10:20
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello,

I've run out of things to try to fix my problem. Whenever I feel even a little pleasure in my genital region I have contractions and it's all over. I've been masturbating since I was 11, I'm 23 now. After a few years of masturbating my orgasms became so weak that I basically only had them to fall asleep easier. They haven't improved even with edging or not masturbating for several months.

I'm wondering if I'm even having orgasms. I have the signs of orgasm like contractions in my vagina and feeling relaxed afterwards.

Also I seem to have no erogenous zones, I've touched every part of my body in different ways, even my breasts aren't sensitive. Fingering my vagina doesn't do anything. all I can do is rub or put a vibrator on my clitoris.

We Must Accept Our Sexual Selves

Thu, 12/15/2016 - 10:13
Submitted by Carlin Ross

There are days when I feel like I'm getting pulled down into the quicksands of misogyny especially with our new President elect. America wanted to see Donald "grab [Hillary] by the pussy" during those debates. Stalking...lurking behind her was a reminder that women who try to forge their way in a man's world jeopardize their safety. Hillary lost because of pure, unadulterated hate.

When I watched this clip of Madonna's acceptance speech, every word she said rang true for me. It's that insidious, institutionalized hatred of women that we deny but remains. Just look at the faces of the women in the audience. They know exactly what she's talking about. Thank you, Madonna, for having the clit to call out our culture and how we denigrate women:

This Body And The Stories Drawn On It, Are Me

Fri, 12/09/2016 - 09:04
Submitted by Natasha

I wrote the following blog post nearly 3 months ago yet haven’t had the courage to share it until today. Wondering what was holding me back I sat with it for awhile and realized that it isn’t that I’m afraid to be seen this way – that’s my old story. It’s more that I’m afraid that in sharing my feelings about something that has been this difficult for me, I might being dismissed. I’ve heard many well intentioned women say to me “God if I had your stomach I’d be laughing” or “I don’t know why you’re so hard on yourself – I wish my stomach looked like yours.”

What We Can Learn from Pompeii's Erotic Art

Thu, 12/08/2016 - 08:11
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I was going through my news feed when I found pixelated images of Pompeii's erotic art that had been preserved thanks to the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.  Yes, they pixelated the areas where genital contact was portrayed.  Oh, America!

As I clicked through the images, I was struck by how inclusive they were in their depictions of sex acts.  There was cunniligus and a very progressive threesome.  It's always two women and one man.  There was the threesome I'd always envisioned: a man vaginally penetrating a woman while he was being anally penetrated by a man.  That makes orgasmic sense.

Perfect Solution to Constant Requests for Nude Pics

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 09:04
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Any woman under the age of 80 who's on social media knows how annoying men are with their constant requests for free porn - nude pics of you sent for no reason other than they have a dick.

This young woman's response is brilliant.  If I teach Grayson anything, it will be to respect women's bodies and know never to bully them for nude pics.

Pleasure is Learned

Thu, 12/01/2016 - 14:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Original Drawing Betty Dodson

I can’t write a number large enough to cover the amount of emails I get from young, middle-aged, and older woman asking me how to have an orgasm. The constant refrain is that they have tried EVERYTHING and they still can’t come!

Some get a good feeling when they lie on their stomachs and clench their legs together or hump pillows or rolled up blankets until they get some mild feelings but when they roll over and try with their fingers or a vibrator, nothing much happens. Or if it does, those little mild sensations simply could not be an orgasm. Even if she feels her vagina contract or pulsates, she denies anything like an orgasm could have taken place.

New BF Wants Me to Squirt

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 08:51
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty and Carlin,

I'm in my 40's and just getting back out there after my 25 year marriage ended. My sex life with the ex was not too exciting. A new guy I've been seeing for a few months is more adventurous sexually (I took a tip from Betty and went out with a younger guy LOL). Anyhow, this guy seems obsessed with getting me to "squirt" and even makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I can't pull it off.

I don't know much about it, I pretty much thought it was a "stunt" done in adult movies to make guys think they are "big studs" for making a woman ejaculate. Am I right to be ambivalent about this? Frankly it seems like a big mess more than anything.

Thanks!
R

Every Individual is Entitled to Pleasure

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 08:28
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Below is an email from a beautiful woman who took our last workshop *tingles*

I am still processing Bodysex. Still shaking my head in disbelief, marveling at all the beauty and courage within that circle. The depth of what I took away from the experience still confounds me. This started out as a thank you note to Betty and Carlin but then I thought, why not thank everyone? After all, it was the sense of sisterhood that made this so special.

Negative misconceptions born from the cultural double standard had darkened my perception of sex and my body. Bodysex taught me something so simple and yet absolutely fundamental; every individual is entitled to pleasure…and I’m convinced there was no better way to learn it.