Blogs

Best Arrest Photo from Day Without A Woman

Thu, 03/09/2017 - 08:33
Submitted by Carlin Ross

A big thank you to Tamika Mallory, Linda Sarsour, Carmen Perez and Bob Bland - the four main organizers of the Women's March - who were arrested yesterday protesting outside Trump Tower in nyc for A Day Without A Woman (9 other protestors were also arrested).

This is the best arrest photo ever. Wish I could have been there but motherhood and raising a feminist son is my priority right now. I keep looking for numbers on yesterday's global strike *fingerscrossed*.

Feminism has finally gone mainstream.

Because #PleasureEmpowers

Tue, 03/07/2017 - 08:33
Submitted by Almudena

Yes, this Wednesday is the International Women’s Day, a day for vindication and demand that has also to be a celebration. Let’s make it a day to celebrate our own pleasure as well.

Because – pleasure empowers

Because celebrating both life and pleasure is the best way of facing all denial over our own body and our own sexuality. Because your pleasure is yours alone, and nobody can tell you when, how or with whom getting it rightfully.

Yeah yeah, we know… work, children, house duties, or a thousand small inconveniences we got pushed over… but no! Stop giving excuses, enough is enough.

Get some time for yourself, dedicate to your own pleasure and happiness, just because. A brief moment to connect with our own breathing and our body, with our vulva and our joy.

How I Create Sexual Energy & Desire

Tue, 03/07/2017 - 08:07
Submitted by bila kolbe

There are those times every month when I get hot flashes. I’m not talking about those uncomfortable body temperature spikes often attributable to menopause which I, as a sexagenarian, fortunately do not experience.

No, in this case I’m referring to feeling downright randy and prone to impromptu episodes of ‘backstroke roulette’. So while my hands were dutifully employed, my mind got to pondering about some of my favorite ways to ratchet up sexual energy during solo and paired trysts.

Jacqueline Secor's Vulva Art

Sun, 02/26/2017 - 14:37
Submitted by Carlin Ross

It seems like vulva art is popping up everywhere and I'm loving Jacqueline Secor's work.  Each image captures a "vulva style" and almost all have dangling inner lips.

She began painting vulvas to deal with some body dysmorphia issues she was having living in Utah where there's only one definition of beauty.  Looking forward to viewing more of her work.

What Can I Say When Criticized for Casual Sex & Multiple Partners?

Sun, 02/26/2017 - 14:15
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello! Thanks for your time.

I don't know how to respond to people about this. I know the insult isn't justified, but I do like sleeping with multiple guys. People say I put myself at risk too much. Not just about STDs but also for pregnancy. The funny thing, is that I risk being preggo much less often than lots of ppl in relationships do! Like if I hookup a few times a month vs most people who have sex with their partner at least a few times a week.

They say it's different though, since they know each other if a baby happens. But I feel like the overall consequence is the same. Plus I usually take less risk, I'm on BC, use condoms, and usually ask him to pullout even with a condom on. I know plenty of couples that just solely rely on the pill.

Natural Cycles is a Birth Control App as Effective as the Pill

Wed, 02/22/2017 - 08:52
Submitted by Carlin Ross

This is the kind of news that gets my clit rock hard.  Elina Berglund, a nuclear physicist, has developed a birth control app that's as effective as the pill.  All you have to do is take your temperature under your tongue each morning and enter the info into the app.  Then your smart phone lets you know when you're fertile and when you're not.  I would just synch it to my calendar. 

Need Help Explaining to BF How to Touch My Clitoris?

Wed, 02/22/2017 - 08:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I have been masturbating since a very young child, and thanks to you have progressed from rubbing up against surfaces to touching myself with porn to now preferring my own fantasies with some coconut oil and penetration - these orgasms I have on my own are great! I am 19 years old and am in my first serious relationship. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for 2 months now, and so far has been a good experience.

Who Would Think a Victorian Nude Would Push Buttons

Fri, 02/17/2017 - 15:59
Submitted by Carlin Ross

These nude photographs were part of a Valentine's exhibition at the South Downs Heritage Centre.  After receiving a slew of complaints, the gallery pulled them before rethinking it and reinstating them a few days later.

Incredible that nude photographs from the Victorian era would push so many buttons.  I love the real bodies and the playfulness.  Beautiful.

How Do I Transition From the Barbell to Full Penetration?

Fri, 02/17/2017 - 15:44
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am a 33 old woman who began her masturbation journey after turning thirty. Thanks to the information available on your website, your inspiring books and youtube channel with Carlin, I think I have made steady progress and can now enjoy orgasms using clitoral stimulation alone. I am also able to slowly slide Betty's Barbell in and out of my vagina during the process without any apprehension or discomfort and though it does feel nice when the larger blob makes contact with the vaginal entry point, it is pretty uneventful once the barbell is almost completely inside me.

Is that normal? What does one have to do to enhance pleasure using the barbell?

A Betty Dodson Valentine

Tue, 02/14/2017 - 09:28
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I love the sentiment of this Valentine Betty drew in 1987.

First, she dedicates it to herself (I think she should be credited with the selflove movement) and then the love she has for "all my friends, lovers and strangers all over planet earth".

Dealing with Extreme Vaginal Pain & My Clitoris Feels Dead

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 09:07
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi betty or Carlin or just anyone who could help,

I'm suffering!!!

I wrote you before when I first got diagnosed with my vaginal prolapse. and I just wanted to say thank you for the help, but im still so alone and lost. and that wasnt even part of my stupid problems it was just a bump on my horribly paved road. more and more problems keep stacking up and Im in pain and suffering to the point where I dont want to even know what to do. I just feel destroyed and broken. I could really just use some kind of help.

The Absence of Pleasure Leads to Systemic Violence

Tue, 02/07/2017 - 15:21
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Natasha posted a link to James Prescott's research on body pleasure and the origins of violence. I read through the dense extract and it was life affirming. We have instincts that, at times, we question. Everything Betty teaches through her books and the workshops can be quantified. Touch and pleasure inhibit violence across the board.

It starts with maternal touch as infants. Cultures that support mothers, don't sexualize breastfeeding toddlers, and encourage general affection have less violence. The concept that pain is useful in child-rearing produces angry, aggressive adolescents and adults. Here's an interesting wrinkle: mothers who didn't experience orgasm were more likely to abuse their children.

Feminism at the Superbowl

Mon, 02/06/2017 - 07:55
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I don't think we've ever had a more policitized Superbowl.  Most of the ads had a clear pro-diversity theme and it made me proud to be an American.

Then there was this moment when the Schuyler Sisters from the cast of Hamilton sang America the Beautiful and inserted "sisterhood" after the line "and crown thy hood in brotherhood"...it was electric:

Maybe we needed some push back to pave the way for true equality.   The people have spoken.

Thinking of Labiaplasty for My Large Dark Labia

Thu, 02/02/2017 - 09:18
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I'll tell u my story but first my problem is I have dark labia majora and black very large redundant labia minora P.S. I'm a virgin arabic girl engaged and get married in july. It rubs in the panties and I have to put them inside using my fingers everytime I pee or change my panties they look disgusting and very ugly.  I consulted 4 different drs 3 women 2 in usa both of them recommended labiaplasty and 2 in my arabic country. 1 of them recommended surgery and one silenced after examining me for a minute and then said get married have sex first and see if u satisfied or not. He told me these surgeries aren't recommended to virgins because it may cause mutilations or being cold sexually afterwards.what is ur opinion ?

Loving This Picture of Vicky Balch

Thu, 02/02/2017 - 09:14
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Vicky Balch lost her leg in a rollercoaster accident when she was 21.  To promote positive body image among young girls, she released this picture featuring her amputation.

It's so powerful and reassuring.  All bodies are beautiful even with life's scars and losses.  What an amazing young woman.