Blogs

I Feel Pleasure Then Nothing

Thu, 12/15/2016 - 10:20
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello,

I've run out of things to try to fix my problem. Whenever I feel even a little pleasure in my genital region I have contractions and it's all over. I've been masturbating since I was 11, I'm 23 now. After a few years of masturbating my orgasms became so weak that I basically only had them to fall asleep easier. They haven't improved even with edging or not masturbating for several months.

I'm wondering if I'm even having orgasms. I have the signs of orgasm like contractions in my vagina and feeling relaxed afterwards.

Also I seem to have no erogenous zones, I've touched every part of my body in different ways, even my breasts aren't sensitive. Fingering my vagina doesn't do anything. all I can do is rub or put a vibrator on my clitoris.

We Must Accept Our Sexual Selves

Thu, 12/15/2016 - 10:13
Submitted by Carlin Ross

There are days when I feel like I'm getting pulled down into the quicksands of misogyny especially with our new President elect. America wanted to see Donald "grab [Hillary] by the pussy" during those debates. Stalking...lurking behind her was a reminder that women who try to forge their way in a man's world jeopardize their safety. Hillary lost because of pure, unadulterated hate.

When I watched this clip of Madonna's acceptance speech, every word she said rang true for me. It's that insidious, institutionalized hatred of women that we deny but remains. Just look at the faces of the women in the audience. They know exactly what she's talking about. Thank you, Madonna, for having the clit to call out our culture and how we denigrate women:

This Body And The Stories Drawn On It, Are Me

Fri, 12/09/2016 - 09:04
Submitted by Natasha

I wrote the following blog post nearly 3 months ago yet haven’t had the courage to share it until today. Wondering what was holding me back I sat with it for awhile and realized that it isn’t that I’m afraid to be seen this way – that’s my old story. It’s more that I’m afraid that in sharing my feelings about something that has been this difficult for me, I might being dismissed. I’ve heard many well intentioned women say to me “God if I had your stomach I’d be laughing” or “I don’t know why you’re so hard on yourself – I wish my stomach looked like yours.”

What We Can Learn from Pompeii's Erotic Art

Thu, 12/08/2016 - 08:11
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I was going through my news feed when I found pixelated images of Pompeii's erotic art that had been preserved thanks to the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.  Yes, they pixelated the areas where genital contact was portrayed.  Oh, America!

As I clicked through the images, I was struck by how inclusive they were in their depictions of sex acts.  There was cunniligus and a very progressive threesome.  It's always two women and one man.  There was the threesome I'd always envisioned: a man vaginally penetrating a woman while he was being anally penetrated by a man.  That makes orgasmic sense.

Perfect Solution to Constant Requests for Nude Pics

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 09:04
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Any woman under the age of 80 who's on social media knows how annoying men are with their constant requests for free porn - nude pics of you sent for no reason other than they have a dick.

This young woman's response is brilliant.  If I teach Grayson anything, it will be to respect women's bodies and know never to bully them for nude pics.

Pleasure is Learned

Thu, 12/01/2016 - 14:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Original Drawing Betty Dodson

I can’t write a number large enough to cover the amount of emails I get from young, middle-aged, and older woman asking me how to have an orgasm. The constant refrain is that they have tried EVERYTHING and they still can’t come!

Some get a good feeling when they lie on their stomachs and clench their legs together or hump pillows or rolled up blankets until they get some mild feelings but when they roll over and try with their fingers or a vibrator, nothing much happens. Or if it does, those little mild sensations simply could not be an orgasm. Even if she feels her vagina contract or pulsates, she denies anything like an orgasm could have taken place.

New BF Wants Me to Squirt

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 08:51
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty and Carlin,

I'm in my 40's and just getting back out there after my 25 year marriage ended. My sex life with the ex was not too exciting. A new guy I've been seeing for a few months is more adventurous sexually (I took a tip from Betty and went out with a younger guy LOL). Anyhow, this guy seems obsessed with getting me to "squirt" and even makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I can't pull it off.

I don't know much about it, I pretty much thought it was a "stunt" done in adult movies to make guys think they are "big studs" for making a woman ejaculate. Am I right to be ambivalent about this? Frankly it seems like a big mess more than anything.

Thanks!
R

Every Individual is Entitled to Pleasure

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 08:28
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Below is an email from a beautiful woman who took our last workshop *tingles*

I am still processing Bodysex. Still shaking my head in disbelief, marveling at all the beauty and courage within that circle. The depth of what I took away from the experience still confounds me. This started out as a thank you note to Betty and Carlin but then I thought, why not thank everyone? After all, it was the sense of sisterhood that made this so special.

Negative misconceptions born from the cultural double standard had darkened my perception of sex and my body. Bodysex taught me something so simple and yet absolutely fundamental; every individual is entitled to pleasure…and I’m convinced there was no better way to learn it.

We Were Active Participants In Our Own Pleasure

Tue, 11/22/2016 - 08:36
Submitted by Natasha

Last weekend’s fall Bodysex retreat began with Patti and I greeting each of the women naked as they arrived, and asking them to undress. Having been a Bodysex participant myself – before becoming a facilitator – I understood very well the look of fear and nervousness on most of their faces. Arms crossed, eyes down and some holding back tears, the women made their way to the circle and sat down.

What is a Good Age to Teach Kids About Sex?

Tue, 11/22/2016 - 08:28
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I am brand new to this amazing resource and have spent all day combing through posts and podcast videos and I really appreciate what a wonderful set of educational tools you and Carlin have provided here.

I have a 5 year old daughter and I'm wondering how I can incorporate sex education into her development in a healthy way and at what age it's appropriate?

To Be Seen Fully is Scary

Fri, 11/18/2016 - 08:31
Submitted by Katrina Marie

The week leading up to our first Bodysex Workshop was so exciting. Unwrapping and charging Magic Wands, sterilizing barbells, filling up the almond oil bottles, it was all coming together.

Is My Hooded Clitoris Keeping Me From Pleasure?

Wed, 11/16/2016 - 08:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dearest Betty and Carlin, get a drink, this is a long one.

I am a 63yr old lesbian and I have finally started my journey toward sexual healing and liberation. I discovered your wonderful web site while searching for information on hooded clits. Google had listed it’s best results, when I accidentally dropped my mouse on the keyboard, and up popped your clitoral hood chart page. If that’s not the Goddess sending me to you, I don’t know what is.

I started reading. I read for hours. I cried out of pain, I cried out of joy, I cried out of anger, finally I cried out of sadness that it has taken me 63 years to start this healing.

I Needed Bodysex

Tue, 11/15/2016 - 09:46
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Heading into this past weekend's workshop, I felt like this would be the last group of Betty's career, the last group we ran together. After a West Coast book tour and several private sessions, Betty was wiped out. I've never seen her tired before and it was sobering. Sometimes we forget that Betty is 88 years old. She has to retire at some point, doesn't she?

Trump's election was the icing on the cake of my despair. I felt defeated. I felt depressed. I felt beaten by hate and overwhelmed by the thought of this man - the posterboy for intolerance and misogyny - leading our nation.

I needed Bodysex.