Blogs

From Trauma to Orgasms

Sun, 12/31/2017 - 16:47
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Every Woman on the Planet Has Been Sexually Traumatized.

At best, we've been objectified, demeaned, shamed, guilted, and manipulated into believing that we don't deserve pleasure on our own terms. At worst, we've been groped, assaulted, raped and blamed for male lust. Betty and I have traveled the globe and there isn't a society or culture where women have true sexual equality. The clitoris is ignored. The female model of sexual response isn't even part of the discussion. Procreate sex reigns supreme. Female chastity and male dominance are the norm and, sadly, the rape culture persists.

Deep Penetration Hurts After First Child

Wed, 12/20/2017 - 13:51
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

I am a in my early 30's and have very little interest in sex. My husband is a sex addict and we are always butting heads.

Sex is great when we have time but I still have issues. Most of the concern is deep penetration. It hurts like hell and it really stops me from focusing on my orgasm. It feels like a very strong pinch.

This has been going on since I had my first child. I was fine before then. Can you please help me figure this out?

I

Dear I,

When some aspect of penetration sex is painful, don't do it. Instead give him a blow job or manual sex instead.

Deep penetration that hurts means you are doing something wrong. Until you figure this out, do oral or manual.

Because Pleasure Creates Compassion

Thu, 12/14/2017 - 10:37
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Betty's been running workshops on and off for three decades. I've co-run about 40 workshops over the past five years. This past weekend's workshop was the best workshop we've ever done together.

I'm not sure whether it was the women...the new feminist swell of activism...our partnership but something seemed righter, more honest - special. I think that's how growth works. It just happens. You strive and struggle and push - give up - and then it just appears like an orgasm. You have to want more. You have to do the work. You have to accept failure. You have to keep going.

Is He Pretending to be Heterosexual?

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 08:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

hi Dr. Betty :)

Thank you, because you helped me through your website, a lot in exploring my sexuality while being in a very conservative society.

I have a question concerning my fiancee, my future husband, as our marriage is approaching, I began to discuss sex with him, and to try flirting, to see how the chemistry will be between us. He told me something really strange: the first porn movie he saw, it was by mistake on his friend's laptop, it was featuring a woman masturbating and stripping, he told me that this scene made him "vomit"!

Terje Brought Pansexuality to Us All

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 10:01
Submitted by Carlin Ross
Betty and Terje

This past week we lost a champion of sex and wonderful soul, Terje Gammelsrud. 

His magazine, Cupido, was everything I always wanted...beautiful, authentic images of sexual expression inclusive of gender, orientation, and preference.  I remember the first time I thumbed through Cupido.  It was a journey.  Sex acts and people of every persuasion titilated by senses and I found myself drawn to specific pages that I never thought I would find stimulating.  That was his art - he presented democratic sex that left the reader more compassionate and self aware than they were before experiencing his magazine.

Terje and Cupido were pansexual before we knew what that was...he was one of the greats. 

I Love Her Face

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 08:20
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I caught this recent photo of Isabella Rossellini and was totally enamored.  I love her wrinkles.  It's so rare that you get to see a natural face in Hollywood that she's a breath of fresh air.

As I start to see the signs of age on my face, there's this pull to plump out my lips and tighten the skin under my eyes.  I say, "fuck it".  The most feminist thing I can do is age. 

I'm a middle-aged mom looking at the next milestone: fifty and I'm going to celebrate every wrinkle.

I Don't Feel Sexual Attraction When I See People

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 08:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I'm 26-year-old, and English is not my mother tongue, so forgive me for any mistakes in writing

I am writing you because I have a problem that I don't know how to identify and I don't know how to solve.

Puzzle's pieces (it took me one hour to finish this!)

1) I don't feel "sexual attraction" when I see people - men or women - I don't find them sexually attractive, some people are aesthetically more (physically or mentally) beautiful than others, and I'm able to fell in love (once in 1'000 years), with "butterflies in my stomach" and so on, but it's all here. No "sexual attraction". No desire. Nothing.

Betty Dodson Presents: My Orgasm

Tue, 11/21/2017 - 16:06
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We just released our latest dvd on amazon Betty Dodson Presents: My Orgasm.

There's over 3 hours of content. Five women share their masturbation practice, including me, and one lesbian couple shares their partner sex.

About 3 years go, I decided to film myself illustrating all of Betty's orgasm techniques after a messy break up. I figured pouring my heart into conscious masturbation and sharing the deepest parts of myself would be the healing I needed and it was - it was so hot that Betty and our cameraperson decided to masturbate on film too. Sex positive energy is contagious.

Bodysex is the Heart of Our Work

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 10:02
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Every season Betty and I talk about retiring the workshops so we can spend more time raising money for the foundation and planning an exhibition of Betty's art. Without fail, we come to the same realization: Bodysex is the healing and we need to train more women to be run groups.

Bodysex is the heart of our work.

You're an Inspiration to Me as a Young Woman, a Sexual Being, & One Day a Mother

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I wanted to send you a note of thanks, but first let me give you some context.

I am the oldest of three daughters, who grew up in a home where our parents did not discuss sex. As a gifted individual, I was happy to learn of this topic on my own. At age 11, I began watching the fabulous videos made by you and Carlin.

You have both talked me through many first experiences before they were even a possibility. You've given me a confidence to advocate for myself and my pleasure. What's more, I now find myself encouraging my peers and others to advocate for themselves as well. I am saddened to find that too many of my 20-something year old friends are limited to the pleasure they receive from their partners, if there is any at all.

Pleasure Requires Self-Knowledge & Self-Awareness

Mon, 11/13/2017 - 08:23
Submitted by fabiola

Each circle is different, each one is special and this one was no exception. My skin still bristles when I remember the looks, the bodies, the skins, the deep breaths.

For the first time I felt calm before I started. Almost always I get consumed by nerves during preparations, however I have already built my own preparation ritual so I can remember to embrace pleasure.

Even before I started I already felt the Bodysex effect, everything was flowing, at the same time I was learning to ask for help (just learning) I was again appreciating how lucky I am to be surrounded by women and men who believe in this project and have accompanied me in the process; from sharing anecdotes to help me buy, prepare, load and arrive at what would be our home this weekend.

All of Our Senses Were Being Honored

Thu, 11/09/2017 - 16:30
Submitted by Laurie Joy

I just held my 2nd Bodysex Workshop.

There were 4 of us. One was my 91 year old mother, who has wanted to understand “exactly” what it is I’m doing now. She recently invited her 76 year old “man friend” to move in with her. That was huge! Since I started my sexual healing journey a few years ago, she has seen a huge change in me. The ripple effect being she has allowed herself to change, too. She has heard me talk about Betty Dodson and how fabulous these Bodysex Workshops are. She has wanted to read all the books she hears me talk about.

Lady Madonna

Thu, 11/02/2017 - 15:34
Submitted by Carlin Ross

In a recent interview, Paul McCartney shared that this 1965 National Geographic image was the inspiration behind the song, Lady Madonna:

“Sometimes you see pictures of mothers and you go: ‘she’s a good mother’. You could just tell there’s a bond and it just affected me, that photo. So I was inspired to write Lady Madonna, my song, from that photo.”

It's so rare that we see strong imagery of motherhood.  The connection between this mother and the baby at her breast and the boy smiling up at her - there's nothing more moving or powerful. 

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