Blogs

You're an Inspiration to Me as a Young Woman, a Sexual Being, & One Day a Mother

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I wanted to send you a note of thanks, but first let me give you some context.

I am the oldest of three daughters, who grew up in a home where our parents did not discuss sex. As a gifted individual, I was happy to learn of this topic on my own. At age 11, I began watching the fabulous videos made by you and Carlin.

You have both talked me through many first experiences before they were even a possibility. You've given me a confidence to advocate for myself and my pleasure. What's more, I now find myself encouraging my peers and others to advocate for themselves as well. I am saddened to find that too many of my 20-something year old friends are limited to the pleasure they receive from their partners, if there is any at all.

Pleasure Requires Self-Knowledge & Self-Awareness

Mon, 11/13/2017 - 08:23
Submitted by fabiola

Each circle is different, each one is special and this one was no exception. My skin still bristles when I remember the looks, the bodies, the skins, the deep breaths.

For the first time I felt calm before I started. Almost always I get consumed by nerves during preparations, however I have already built my own preparation ritual so I can remember to embrace pleasure.

Even before I started I already felt the Bodysex effect, everything was flowing, at the same time I was learning to ask for help (just learning) I was again appreciating how lucky I am to be surrounded by women and men who believe in this project and have accompanied me in the process; from sharing anecdotes to help me buy, prepare, load and arrive at what would be our home this weekend.

All of Our Senses Were Being Honored

Thu, 11/09/2017 - 16:30
Submitted by Laurie Joy

I just held my 2nd Bodysex Workshop.

There were 4 of us. One was my 91 year old mother, who has wanted to understand “exactly” what it is I’m doing now. She recently invited her 76 year old “man friend” to move in with her. That was huge! Since I started my sexual healing journey a few years ago, she has seen a huge change in me. The ripple effect being she has allowed herself to change, too. She has heard me talk about Betty Dodson and how fabulous these Bodysex Workshops are. She has wanted to read all the books she hears me talk about.

Lady Madonna

Thu, 11/02/2017 - 15:34
Submitted by Carlin Ross

In a recent interview, Paul McCartney shared that this 1965 National Geographic image was the inspiration behind the song, Lady Madonna:

“Sometimes you see pictures of mothers and you go: ‘she’s a good mother’. You could just tell there’s a bond and it just affected me, that photo. So I was inspired to write Lady Madonna, my song, from that photo.”

It's so rare that we see strong imagery of motherhood.  The connection between this mother and the baby at her breast and the boy smiling up at her - there's nothing more moving or powerful. 

If I Met Him in a Fetish Club, Does He Have a STD?

Thu, 11/02/2017 - 15:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

First, thank you. You have helped me so much over the years.

I am 30. I am in a situation in which I have no idea what to do. I started seeing this guy a couple of months ago, and the sex is amazing. We connect on so many levels, though he has not verbally 'locked it down' into a monogamous relationship. I am traveling right now, and went to a fetish club. Wow. I met a man there and we danced. There was a lot of kissing and intimate touching. I felt something special and I am drawn in. He has offered to meet in private before I go. My first thought was 'yes', but then my friend told me how dangerous this is because he goes to fetish clubs and probably has an STD. Is this true, or stigmatizing a community?

After Bodysex, I Realized I Needed to Build My Orgasm From the Ground Up

Mon, 10/30/2017 - 08:18
Submitted by Stephanie Theobald

Little did I know when I attended Betty Dodson’s masturbation weekend in April 2014 that I would end up:

a)Talking about the “vulva ballet” at Brasenose College, Oxford in a 16th century wood paneled room filled with eminent gentlemen frowning powerlessly from behind varnished picture frames. (I got a standing ovation at the end, although one of the three men present, an executive from a private Swiss bank, walked out in protest. Good. Mission accomplished).

Sharing Orgasms Keeps Our Partnership Going

Wed, 10/25/2017 - 14:47
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Last June we announced Betty's retirement from Bodysex. A few months went by and we started having second thoughts. The groups feed Betty...emotionally...intellectually...sexually. The retreat really solidified our decision: we'd run groups in the Fall.

When your business partner is 88 years old, you know that they'll be a moment, a passing of the torch. You cling to denial but can't escape the reality of aging. When I look at our old youtube clips, I can see how I've aged over 9 years. So many things have changed and so many things have stayed the same. Our relationship has grown so deep that it transcends "family".

Is It Too Late to Change My Masturbation Technique?

Wed, 10/25/2017 - 13:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am so frustrated. I am 19 yrs old and can only orgasm the way i did as a child.

I am used to hump on something (a towel) lying face-down. I recently got a boyfriend, and we started having sex 3 months ago. I can't orgasm from the penis inside of me, and i can't orgasm when he fingers me and touches my clit, because I'm used to laying face down humping on something. I would like to get an orgasm laying on my back touching my clit, like you did on the NRK show. I have tried this for 2 months but it never works. Is it too late for me to change my pattern? This is almost making me depressed.

Each Bodysex Circle is Different

Wed, 10/18/2017 - 07:46
Submitted by Irina

Carlin told me each Bodysex circle is different, and we get to see this especially when we lead. The women are different, we are different, and somehow the right combination of women show up and it all comes perfectly together. I for sure was feeling differently. Surprisingly, I was more nervous leading up to this second circle I led, than the first one. I didn’t really know any of the women and my monkey brain was fretting, ‘are they even going to show up?’. They all did, and I relaxed a bit, even though I was prepared to lead with however many women would show at my door.

I was so excited and so ready for this workshop, my energy was high, and still the two days knocked me out. I slept a full 9 hours night after quite a few weeks of not getting enough sleep, and I was grateful.

I Believe Sex is How People are Controlled Which Puts it at the Heart of Politics

Thu, 10/12/2017 - 08:34
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Betty self-portrait

One of the most challenging aspects of my life has been going public with what I believe to be true based on observation, experience and information from sources I trust. I’m not sure when living out loud became my passion. Perhaps the biggest influence was my mother who always said, “Betty Anne, never hesitate to speak your mind.” She was an example of doing just that. Often I’d be embarrassed when she’d say the unspeakable, like the time she told our overly religious neighbor Mrs. Wright the Bible was just a bunch of stories written by a lot of different men.

Dear Catcallers

Fri, 10/06/2017 - 07:59
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Noa Jansma was sick and tired of being harassed and catcalled on her way to class so she decided to do what any self-respected millenial would do: start an instagram account.

@dearcatcallers is a series of selfies featuring Noa with her catcallers.  They all kind of have the same look on their faces.  It's a mix of "I'm being naughty" and "I'm a loser" with a dash of delinquency.  And most of them are old men oggling a 20 year old girl that could be there daughter but I guess that's the allure. 

When young men start posting selfies with their cougar harassers, we'll know that women too have the freedom to be aggressors.

Did I Vibrate My Nerve Endings to Death?

Fri, 10/06/2017 - 07:39
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty

I'm hoping someone can give me advice about this.

I was a late bloomer to sex. I never explored down there until I got a vibrator randomly in college. The second time I used the vibrator I achieved orgasm. For a year or so, I continued to use the vibrator, each time having extremely intense full body orgasms-- cold feet followed by waves of warmth, many contractions. I felt like I knew my body like clockwork. I'm not sure what happened, but over the course of the following year my orgasms got shallower and shallower until I barely noticed them. (No, I was not on any medications that might have affected this.) . I'm not even sure if they were orgasms or just little waves of pleasure before orgasm.

Weaving A Web Of Sisterhood

Mon, 10/02/2017 - 09:13
Submitted by Natasha

The night before last weekend’s Bodysex retreat began, I laid down on the rug in the centre of the circle — inhaling the smells of body oil and beeswax — and felt the familiar sensation of being home. If I don’t feel safe to be myself in a circle of women, where in the world would I feel safe?

An Interactive Map of Sheela Na Gigs

Fri, 09/29/2017 - 09:54
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Researchers have put together an interactive map of Sheela Na Gigs in Western Europe.  These graven images of older women pulling open their vulvas adorned churches and places of worship in Medieval times and harken back to ancient Egypt. 

It's not surprising that most of these reliefs were taken down and put in church basements like the image I've attached here (it's why so many of them have survived).  The prevailing thought was that Sheela Na Gigs were created as warnings against human lust.  I guess if you were a gay priest full frontal would seem like an admonition against sex. 

How Do You Get Comfortable Having Sex When Battling Erection Issues?

Tue, 09/26/2017 - 06:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I won't take up too much of your time. I will try my best to present the point of me contacting you. I am 38, married man who has 2 children. My wife is 46. We are eight years apart in ages. Okay, now that we got that away, now comes the hardest part. I have spoken to a marriage counselor for sometime now. I've countless sexual "hang-ups", and was wondering, will they eventually leave? Whenever I viewed pornography, I would masturbate to the oral sex movies. I had at one time, preferred masturbating to actual sex. Because I’m a lousy lover.