Blogs

Had a Labial Cyst Removed. Will My Vulva Be Normal Again?

Sun, 03/25/2018 - 08:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I've recently had surgery to remove a labial cyst (2nd time, first time was unsuccessful) I'm worried about the healing.. My physician opted to remove the cyst and the wall surrounding - which has ended up being the back third around my vaginal entrance..

Apart from it looking a tad strange due to quite a large chunk being missing I'm worried about how it's healing.. I got an infection and a course of antibiotics to combat this which has cleared it up but I looked in a mirror today and where part of the incision was made it doesn't seem to have healed correctly.

Her Clit Cannot Be Touched

Tue, 03/13/2018 - 15:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

My wife has given me a mission - to find out of there is a solution to her problem: her skin is super sensitive to touch (anywhere on her body), to heat (her skin literally bubbles), and to cold (breaks out in rash).

Our sexual dilemma is this: her clit cannot be touched, either by me, or by herself. She said touching it is like sticking your finger in an electric socket. She also cannot be fingered, nor can she have dildos or vibrators inserted. No latex condoms. She once tried a Brazilian wax, and swelled up for days (she had to go to her doctor).

Because Bad Girls Say No

Tue, 03/13/2018 - 08:16
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We have this cultural myth that if we leave young girls in the dark about their bodies, deny the clitoris, and shame them against sexual experimentation (thank you virginity myth & slut stigma) that they will remain chaste and only have intercourse when they're married. The sexual double standard has always been about limiting female sexual activity.

New research has found that sexually experienced women - women who valued their sexual pleasure - were more likely to say no to unwanted sexual contact while inexperienced women were more likely to engage in unwanted sexual contact. In other words, bad girls say no and good girls say yes.

I Began My Veneration of Spring In the Pines

Thu, 03/08/2018 - 16:02
Submitted by bila kolbe

I think we are in for an early Spring according to my blooming crocuses. It’s that time of year when Mother Earth becomes pregnant with sun and rain, concocting a sumptuous panoply of color emerging from the dark clutches of Winter while she seduces us into a frenzy of surging hormones imaginably culminating in erotic adventures.

Bodysex in Harper's Bazaar

Thu, 03/08/2018 - 08:50
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We've had several media outlets cover Bodysex but yesterday's piece in Harper's Bazaar is the best one yet. 

The images are perfection especially the vulva diagram with the clitoris front and center.  When fashion magazines are publishing this sort of sex ed content, expressly for women, it makes you tingle.  We are at a tipping point and this new wave of feminism is a fucking tsunami.

This is my favorite passage because it speaks to our orgasm expectations.  Thank you, Suzannah, for putting yourself out there and getting it right:

Feel Like My Clitoris is Getting Smaller

Fri, 03/02/2018 - 14:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello,

I am 42 and have noticed that for a little over a year now, it feels as though my clitoris is shrinking. I have a long history of yeast infections and one or two cases of Bacterial Vaginosis, so I tried using Vagisil for a few months. This is around the time that I noticed the weird sensation of my clitoris getting smaller. I am able to masterbate using a vibrator and lube, but I do notice a bit of a 'zinging' sensation afterwards.

Aside from that, my biggest complaint is that I have a hard time keeping the clitoral hood clean. When I try to pull it back to gently wash, the labia feels very uncomfortable and the clitoris is so tender that it's almost painful to try.

Gap's New Instagram Ad = Breastfeeding Perfection

Tue, 02/27/2018 - 15:29
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Not only do they show direct nipple contact and breast curve but they featured a woman of color breastfeeding her toddler.  This isn't a newborn baby but a child that's at least one years old.

When Grayson saw this image, he announced, "he's so cute".  Thank you, Gap for normalizing breastfeeding and normalizing breastfeeding your todder.  Grayson will be three this week and he still crawls into our bed in the mornings to nurse.  It's a commitment that's well worth it because he's never been sick.  Breast milk is nature's elixir.

“How Bodysex Has Changed My Life.” In The Words Of Past Participants: Part 1 of 5 ** PLEASURE **

Fri, 02/23/2018 - 08:08
Submitted by Natasha

**** The following quotes and photos have been shared with permission by women who have attended at least one my Bodysex Retreats. Thanks to all of you for showing up and celebrating pleasure with me. <3

“Bodysex has been a long awaited sexual awakening. As we know by the #metoo most of us women experience some kind of sexual assault/abuse at some time in our lives. I now realize My way to deal with it was through anger and advocacy.
However that didn’t leave much room for me to be sexual. Somehow it felt wrong, something that men “did”to women. Bodysex has given me the permission to realize and celebrate my own sexual power as something sacred.”

Post-Abuse My Vagina is Chronically Tight & Dry

Tue, 02/13/2018 - 08:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

As a child and early teen I experienced sexual force by an adult repeatedly. I would squeeze my vagina very tight to prevent penetration. It only angered the adult and ultimately did not prevent him.

As a result when I finally had sex with my someone in my age group as a young adult I cried. Many years later with grown children and I'm menopausal now I find if I am not active my vagina closes up. I have a partner now and after a long time of celibacy he re-opened me and it was very painful.

Raising Happy, Grounded Self-Sexual Sons

Wed, 02/07/2018 - 10:51
Submitted by Carlin Ross

One of the most contentious posts on the site is a question sent to Betty by a pregnant mom, "How Do I Feminize My Son". Users went crazy because it seemed that this mom-to-be wanted to minimize her future son's masculinity. I think she chose an unfortunate title for her question. Now that I'm raising a boy I better understand what she really meant.

How Can I Manage My Jealousy?

Fri, 02/02/2018 - 09:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

First, thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with us. It's been a live changing for me since I discover I had "small" orgasms and kept developing them.

Now I got a question about something that is killing my loving relationships. I have this horrible tendency to get "over jealous" when I think my partners are fantasising with someone else. Once my partner told me he finds "wonder woman" hot before going to see the movie. I got so "jealous" on thinking he is fantasising having sex with her (instead of me) so I didn’t want to watch the movie.

Should Madonna Keep Showing Her Tits?

Mon, 01/29/2018 - 15:15
Submitted by Almudena

A few days ago, Madonna uploaded this photo to her Instagram, where she exposes a portion of her nipple.

People started criticizing her for almost being 60 years old and showing her tits and what her children would think - how ashamed they should feel. Surely, of all the times this woman has gone out naked, or in some church rubbing herself with the priests, this is the most subversive thing she has ever done???

Madonna is about to turn 60, and what the culture dictates is that she should not be sexual. People don’t care that she has beautiful tits.  What matters to them is that she’s older, and yet she’s desiring and sexual.

Madonna expressing her sexuality post-menopause gives me hope. I want the freedom to be able to choose a future that I couldn't even imagine now.

I Feel Pleasure Waves But No Orgasm

Thu, 01/25/2018 - 07:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello dr. Betty,

So first I will explain a little bit of my background story to help you understand my situation better. I am 27 years old, and I’ve been with my only boyfriend (very recently my now husband) since we were both 17. We decided to wait until marriage to have intercourse...we grew up with christian beliefs and I have a very strong mother. I believed it was the best thing to do so we married virgins.

We Don’t Need To Be Perfect To Be Whole

Wed, 01/17/2018 - 08:37
Submitted by Natasha

As I continue to grow and learn and get more comfortable incorporating parts of myself and my beliefs into my life and my work, I’ve started to feel uncomfortable using the word “heal” when referring to what I hope to help women achieve through my work. The definition of heal is “to become healthy or sound again” and to me that implies that we were once healthy and whatever we did or was done to us needs to be fixed so that we can become healthy again. I don’t believe that any of us need fixing. I believe that our pain, “brokenness”, trauma, and shame are just as valid parts of ourselves as our greatness. In fact often our greatness is a direct result of our brokenness.

I Get Aroused Without Touching My Genitals Due to PGAD

Fri, 01/05/2018 - 15:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Have you heard of a condition called PGAD (persistant genital arousal disorder)? I am in physical therapy for this and I feel like a freak.

I do not know anyone nor have i ever heard of anyone afflicted with this. However, the one good thing I have gained from having this is the relationship i needed to form with myself. I know every part of myself so well. I know all my pleasure spots and have to spend extra time with myself. I was diagnosed with this about five years ago and I have since learned to accept it but the shame is still there because most of the time I am the only one doctors have ever met and some doctors just think im a nymphomaniac.