Feel Like My Clitoris is Getting Smaller

Fri, 03/02/2018 - 14:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson


I am 42 and have noticed that for a little over a year now, it feels as though my clitoris is shrinking. I have a long history of yeast infections and one or two cases of Bacterial Vaginosis, so I tried using Vagisil for a few months. This is around the time that I noticed the weird sensation of my clitoris getting smaller. I am able to masterbate using a vibrator and lube, but I do notice a bit of a 'zinging' sensation afterwards.

Aside from that, my biggest complaint is that I have a hard time keeping the clitoral hood clean. When I try to pull it back to gently wash, the labia feels very uncomfortable and the clitoris is so tender that it's almost painful to try.

Gap's New Instagram Ad = Breastfeeding Perfection

Tue, 02/27/2018 - 15:29
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Not only do they show direct nipple contact and breast curve but they featured a woman of color breastfeeding her toddler.  This isn't a newborn baby but a child that's at least one years old.

When Grayson saw this image, he announced, "he's so cute".  Thank you, Gap for normalizing breastfeeding and normalizing breastfeeding your todder.  Grayson will be three this week and he still crawls into our bed in the mornings to nurse.  It's a commitment that's well worth it because he's never been sick.  Breast milk is nature's elixir.

“How Bodysex Has Changed My Life.” In The Words Of Past Participants: Part 1 of 5 ** PLEASURE **

Fri, 02/23/2018 - 08:08
Submitted by Natasha

**** The following quotes and photos have been shared with permission by women who have attended at least one my Bodysex Retreats. Thanks to all of you for showing up and celebrating pleasure with me. <3

“Bodysex has been a long awaited sexual awakening. As we know by the #metoo most of us women experience some kind of sexual assault/abuse at some time in our lives. I now realize My way to deal with it was through anger and advocacy.
However that didn’t leave much room for me to be sexual. Somehow it felt wrong, something that men “did”to women. Bodysex has given me the permission to realize and celebrate my own sexual power as something sacred.”

Post-Abuse My Vagina is Chronically Tight & Dry

Tue, 02/13/2018 - 08:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

As a child and early teen I experienced sexual force by an adult repeatedly. I would squeeze my vagina very tight to prevent penetration. It only angered the adult and ultimately did not prevent him.

As a result when I finally had sex with my someone in my age group as a young adult I cried. Many years later with grown children and I'm menopausal now I find if I am not active my vagina closes up. I have a partner now and after a long time of celibacy he re-opened me and it was very painful.

Raising Happy, Grounded Self-Sexual Sons

Wed, 02/07/2018 - 10:51
Submitted by Carlin Ross

One of the most contentious posts on the site is a question sent to Betty by a pregnant mom, "How Do I Feminize My Son". Users went crazy because it seemed that this mom-to-be wanted to minimize her future son's masculinity. I think she chose an unfortunate title for her question. Now that I'm raising a boy I better understand what she really meant.

How Can I Manage My Jealousy?

Fri, 02/02/2018 - 09:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

First, thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with us. It's been a live changing for me since I discover I had "small" orgasms and kept developing them.

Now I got a question about something that is killing my loving relationships. I have this horrible tendency to get "over jealous" when I think my partners are fantasising with someone else. Once my partner told me he finds "wonder woman" hot before going to see the movie. I got so "jealous" on thinking he is fantasising having sex with her (instead of me) so I didn’t want to watch the movie.

Should Madonna Keep Showing Her Tits?

Mon, 01/29/2018 - 15:15
Submitted by Almudena

A few days ago, Madonna uploaded this photo to her Instagram, where she exposes a portion of her nipple.

People started criticizing her for almost being 60 years old and showing her tits and what her children would think - how ashamed they should feel. Surely, of all the times this woman has gone out naked, or in some church rubbing herself with the priests, this is the most subversive thing she has ever done???

Madonna is about to turn 60, and what the culture dictates is that she should not be sexual. People don’t care that she has beautiful tits.  What matters to them is that she’s older, and yet she’s desiring and sexual.

Madonna expressing her sexuality post-menopause gives me hope. I want the freedom to be able to choose a future that I couldn't even imagine now.

I Feel Pleasure Waves But No Orgasm

Thu, 01/25/2018 - 07:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello dr. Betty,

So first I will explain a little bit of my background story to help you understand my situation better. I am 27 years old, and I’ve been with my only boyfriend (very recently my now husband) since we were both 17. We decided to wait until marriage to have intercourse...we grew up with christian beliefs and I have a very strong mother. I believed it was the best thing to do so we married virgins.

We Don’t Need To Be Perfect To Be Whole

Wed, 01/17/2018 - 08:37
Submitted by Natasha

As I continue to grow and learn and get more comfortable incorporating parts of myself and my beliefs into my life and my work, I’ve started to feel uncomfortable using the word “heal” when referring to what I hope to help women achieve through my work. The definition of heal is “to become healthy or sound again” and to me that implies that we were once healthy and whatever we did or was done to us needs to be fixed so that we can become healthy again. I don’t believe that any of us need fixing. I believe that our pain, “brokenness”, trauma, and shame are just as valid parts of ourselves as our greatness. In fact often our greatness is a direct result of our brokenness.

I Get Aroused Without Touching My Genitals Due to PGAD

Fri, 01/05/2018 - 15:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Have you heard of a condition called PGAD (persistant genital arousal disorder)? I am in physical therapy for this and I feel like a freak.

I do not know anyone nor have i ever heard of anyone afflicted with this. However, the one good thing I have gained from having this is the relationship i needed to form with myself. I know every part of myself so well. I know all my pleasure spots and have to spend extra time with myself. I was diagnosed with this about five years ago and I have since learned to accept it but the shame is still there because most of the time I am the only one doctors have ever met and some doctors just think im a nymphomaniac.

From Trauma to Orgasms

Sun, 12/31/2017 - 16:47
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Every Woman on the Planet Has Been Sexually Traumatized.

At best, we've been objectified, demeaned, shamed, guilted, and manipulated into believing that we don't deserve pleasure on our own terms. At worst, we've been groped, assaulted, raped and blamed for male lust. Betty and I have traveled the globe and there isn't a society or culture where women have true sexual equality. The clitoris is ignored. The female model of sexual response isn't even part of the discussion. Procreate sex reigns supreme. Female chastity and male dominance are the norm and, sadly, the rape culture persists.

Deep Penetration Hurts After First Child

Wed, 12/20/2017 - 13:51
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

I am a in my early 30's and have very little interest in sex. My husband is a sex addict and we are always butting heads.

Sex is great when we have time but I still have issues. Most of the concern is deep penetration. It hurts like hell and it really stops me from focusing on my orgasm. It feels like a very strong pinch.

This has been going on since I had my first child. I was fine before then. Can you please help me figure this out?


Dear I,

When some aspect of penetration sex is painful, don't do it. Instead give him a blow job or manual sex instead.

Deep penetration that hurts means you are doing something wrong. Until you figure this out, do oral or manual.

Because Pleasure Creates Compassion

Thu, 12/14/2017 - 10:37
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Betty's been running workshops on and off for three decades. I've co-run about 40 workshops over the past five years. This past weekend's workshop was the best workshop we've ever done together.

I'm not sure whether it was the women...the new feminist swell of activism...our partnership but something seemed righter, more honest - special. I think that's how growth works. It just happens. You strive and struggle and push - give up - and then it just appears like an orgasm. You have to want more. You have to do the work. You have to accept failure. You have to keep going.

Is He Pretending to be Heterosexual?

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 08:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

hi Dr. Betty :)

Thank you, because you helped me through your website, a lot in exploring my sexuality while being in a very conservative society.

I have a question concerning my fiancee, my future husband, as our marriage is approaching, I began to discuss sex with him, and to try flirting, to see how the chemistry will be between us. He told me something really strange: the first porn movie he saw, it was by mistake on his friend's laptop, it was featuring a woman masturbating and stripping, he told me that this scene made him "vomit"!

Terje Brought Pansexuality to Us All

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 10:01
Submitted by Carlin Ross
Betty and Terje

This past week we lost a champion of sex and wonderful soul, Terje Gammelsrud. 

His magazine, Cupido, was everything I always wanted...beautiful, authentic images of sexual expression inclusive of gender, orientation, and preference.  I remember the first time I thumbed through Cupido.  It was a journey.  Sex acts and people of every persuasion titilated by senses and I found myself drawn to specific pages that I never thought I would find stimulating.  That was his art - he presented democratic sex that left the reader more compassionate and self aware than they were before experiencing his magazine.

Terje and Cupido were pansexual before we knew what that was...he was one of the greats.